Did I do the right thing ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Did I do the right thing ???
2
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 9:57pm
This guy and I dated for about a month early last year. He's good at knowing how to treat a lady, and saying what she wants to hear but he is also engaged to someone else (or at least he was last year). So I broke it off sort of rudely b/c I felt he toyed w/my feelings (bringing in emotions & and then backing out, etc.) He continued to call after that & eventually went away on his own. We saw each other months later& started seeing each other again. About 2 weeks later my car was stolen I asked him for a ride home from work. I was upset & crying & he comforted me & said he would be there for me, etc. Pleas note that I only asked for a ride from work (not his heart which he always "seems" to lay out for you). He never even called me back to see if they recovered my car (which they did the next day :) It's been more than six months and he has called again. He says he wants to be my friend, etc and hates the fact that I dislike him so much. This was about 2 weeks ago. I've talked to him a few times since then, wanting to be exactly sure what it is he's looking for here ... he said that I was reading too much into it. The next time we talked (day b/f yesterday), he said I really didn't want to be liked by anybody & to please excuse him for trying. He said he would erase my number to stop himself from being tempted to call. I thought about that conversation, got p'd off all over again, called & left a message saying that he no business telling me what I want & didn't want when his main concern seemed to be getting someone to wear some lil short dress during the middle of the winter (it's a dress he bought me over the summer & has asked more than a few times for me to wear). Of course I won't do it, it's too cold. I also asked him if whether or not he was still engaged b/c he sure wasn't saying much on it for someone who keeps strutting back into other people's lives. I also told him that if a red carpet is what he's looking for then yeah he was better off on somebody else's doorstep. He called me back that night, but I would not answer the phone & have not heard anything else from him. I'm sad b/c I would have loved to see him again (I'm relocating shortly & would have enjoyed going out w/him again as he is a lot of fun). As I said I am relocating & it is to build a better life. I think I should be cautious of any man that wants to come into my life right now, but what do you guys think? I asked him to be more specific on his motives, and he acted like it was some sort of crime. I'm stunned & don't know what to think. Thanks for any advice you can give me. Tam

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 9:06am

tamsheart...


Simple answer.....YOU are relocating to build a better life.....sooooo....DO IT WITHOUT HIM!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 9:09pm
PianoGuy ... you make me wanna celebrate:):) Yes I am relocating for a better life and yes I will go ahead and give myself the fresh start that I am looking for (thank you so very very much for putting it into words for me:):). It's a pretty exciting time right about now, but it's also a very lonesome one as well. I want someone to share these experiences w/me, but as you said (and yes I do have) more faith in myself than to become the alternate date for him whenever he was in the mood (I can't do that to myself, and that's just what it seemed liked to me). A friendship won't work either (he's too slick for that). Yes I could be giving mixed signals also, but the bottom line is still simple ... no I don't want to be viewed as #2. I'm getting too old for that, and with age supposedly comes wisdom (i.e., I'm recognizing now that I don't want somebody else's man/problems, and that if I wait and keep the faith that God will send me who and exactly what I need). Thank you again Pianoguy for your kind words & wisdom. Sincerely, Tam.