Did I do the right thing?
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| Mon, 12-05-2005 - 6:04pm |
Tonight I went over to my bf's apartment and said we needed to talk... we have been together 5 months and during this time I haven't felt that connection with him.. our relationship has been so up and down.. sometimes it's been good but most of the time I don't think it's been good.. we haven't had things to talk about.. I have missed the romance, he's been so negative.. but still I have known that somehow he cares for me even though he hasn't always appreciated me. And I know I haven't been the best gf either.. BUT my main point is that we haven't been the best to each other because of a reason. A reason that neither of us is responsible to. That we don't match..
I told him all this, mainly pointed out that something is missing, that this isn't his fault etc. He was so schocked! He cried, I cried... I have never seen him show so much emotions like he did tonight..
I felt terrible for not telling him sooner.. I couldn't tell him that I have been thinking about how this wasn't feeling right for so long.. so he convinced me into thinking about it.. He says he can change, that he realize he hasn't treated me like I deserved and so on.
Our sex life hasn't been good at all. He blames that for destroying this relationship, but I think it's the opposite. That I didn't want to have sex with him because other parts weren't feeling right. What do you think?
I don't know if I want to give this another chance... I haven't been that happy in this relationship and I wasn't that upset when I got home... it wasn't like I regretted anything.. even thought I didn't say straight out that it was over. But I told him everything. But then he called me and said how he can change and that he would do anythign for me..
What do you think?

Welcome Karen,
You boyfriend has put you in a tough situation ... the best advice I can give you is to go with your gut feeling. If it doesn't feel right to you, then chances are it's not. I think for now you need to give it some time ... be honest with him and just let him know that you need to think about the situation. Be very honest with yourself- what has been keeping you in the relationship? Are you unhappy the majority of the time? Those are just a few of the things that you need to think about.
Please keep us posted ... I hope it works out for you!
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"You get what you settle for"...
Hi Karen,
It's really difficult to do what you did - you have a lot of strength and courage. I don't think you would have started that conversation if you didn't feel deep down it was the right thing to do at the time.
I was in a somewhat similar situation, and just had a gut instinct that it wasn't right. I could have let it go on longer, but it was eating me up inside. And he said some of the same things, that he could change if I gave him another chance. But I don't want him to change, I want him to be exactly himself, I just didn't want to be in a relationship with him.
It's easy to mix up feeling bad about a relationship ending, and feeling regret that you ended it. Both feelings make you sad - but hang in there, and you'll sort through them.
A big hug-