Did I make the right decision?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Did I make the right decision?
3
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 12:49pm
Hi, I have made a decision to break up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years. I had become very unhappy for a few reasons. We are young, im 19 and hes 20, We were both in college and both worked. He works as a line cook at a resturant here in Jacksonville, and he has always been happy working and with the job he has now. But I noticed that he continually put his job ahead of everything else, college, me, family, friends everything. He ended up failing 2 of his classes this past semester and now he cant go back until they are offered again. Eventually I got fed up with being put on the back burner for a job, I can handle being put to the side for things like school and things like that but I got tired of trying and trying to work my schedule around his and working things to get time together and he wasnt budgeing or trying at all, so I asked him if he would cut his hours a little bit not by much, and he said that he was happy with the way things were and he didnt want them to change, well I compromised and asked him to try and get mondays off because I alwayas have mondays off, he again said no, from this conversation I got the idea that he was telling me to either deal with things being exactly the way he wanted or leave. So I left. I stood my ground but I guess it doesnt make things any easier, especially knowing that he let a job come between us. I guess id just like a little input. thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 1:03pm
Sorry you're going through this... I know how hard it is. It does sound like you did the right thing. You're young and should be out there having fun, not waiting around for someone who's not making time for you. You will find someone who treats you the way you deserve. I applaud you for standing up for yourself!

"Without music, life is a journey through the desert"...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 9:57pm
You absolutely did the right thing. My boyfriend of two years made similar excuses and became more and more distant and put much less effort into arranging times together. Turns out, he was seeing other girls (although I never would have suspected him of this). I wouldn't be surprised if yours is doing something similar. It's better to deal with the pain now and be able to have pride in yourself and your decision than to grovel for someone who cares so little about you. Although some days you may need to literally wipe yourself off the floor from the crying, it does get better as you concentrate on your own life and interests. Good Luck...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 12:19pm
It has been pretty hard the past few days. Sometimes I think "hey your better off" Then there are days that I miss him so much I cry until my sides ache. Sometimes im ok and others I feel empty and alone.