Did I mess up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
Did I mess up?
2
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:09am

My current pretty much ex g-f thinks its best to end the relationship.

situation: She is divorced. She has a 3 1/2 year old. She let her ex-husband drop off her son over at her house late. That night I made her bed and left a note under her pillow saying sweat things. Her ex saw it flipped out. When she came home from the club he stayed there and tried chocking her and verbally abused her broke her phone. She has pressed charges.

She said that since she has told me not to mess around in her room (IE making her bed for her, its a invasion of her property in her eyes. It is a culture thing) or leave things out that have my "ID" on it. It is partly my fault. Nothing would have happened if I just used my head. I also knew he was going to drop of her son but I didn't know it would be so late.

If she ends things with me then fine not my choice. But, was a wrong? I just want to learn from this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: tchin21
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 10:44am
Hmmm... Why would her "EX" be looking under her pillow? And why would she want you to not leave any trace of your "ID" in her place? And why would he be so upset that she had someone else in her life that he would physically harm her? Granted she can't control his abuse, but I think it could be because she's not being honest. It sounds like she may still be leading him on, giving him some sort of hope. Her wanting to hide you is not normal. If she allows you to have sex and sleep in her bed, the excuse that you "invade her privacy" to make it, doesn't make sense either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: tchin21
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 11:05am

I'm thinking it's best if *you* end this relationship, because it's not what it seems to be.


I'm sure you care about her very much, and I'm sure your'e going to feel "guilty" for leaving her "unprotected" from her ex, but the reality is that if she really wanted to be out of that situation, she would be.

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