DIfficult time w/ No Contact

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
DIfficult time w/ No Contact
18
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 9:52am

Merry Christmas & healing thoughts to all!


I am embarrassed to admit I am behaving pathetically. I break my No Contact all of the time. Ex dumped me 10 weeks ago (after dating for 3 yrs), and is now being mean. States he can only behave irrational & cold so he can get through this. Also cries & tells me he still loves me, but it can never work. I just fall apart after rejection. I am in therapy, and realize I am just allowing the hurt to increase by contacting him. I have to stop myself. I feel as if I am out of control & started to take Zoloft to stop my obsessing. That medication is not good for me due to a health issue.


I know the break-up is the best thing for me. He was never going to commit, and was playing me for at least 18 months. Please help me with the "no contact". Any strategies? I know myself and that is the way for me to get over people, but actually doing it is what is killing me. Thanks

seachells

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 5:46am

Thanks Charleen-


I will have to read it. Did you join the email group? If so, was it helpful? What was your turning point, meaning, what enabled you to have NC? My ex did call me y2 days ago, but I would not answer the call. My therapist thinks my issue is a lot w/ the fact that he will not try again, and he is so pliable w/ everyone else.


Thanks you for your suggestions. I am sorry the Holidays were difficult for you. WIshing you a Fantastitc 2008!

seachells

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 9:33am

For me the turning point was one day the phone rang and instead of wishing it was him, I was dreading that it was him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 10:21am

Oh My God....this is so perfect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 1:12pm

Don't know why, but I had this awful feeling last night that I should check my myspace account and sure enough I was right.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 2:03pm
Sometimes I think of NC like a bug bite that itches so badly but I can't scrath it. If I scrath it, it feels SOOO good just for the moment, but the itch actually feels stronger after you scrath. If you try to ignore the itch eventually the urge to scrath it goes away...even if you have to repeat the cycle over and over. Don't scratch! :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Sat, 12-29-2007 - 11:14am

It IS an itch you shouldn't scratch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Sat, 12-29-2007 - 3:00pm
There is really no "quick fix" to stop the NC bug. You just eventually get tired of degrading yourself, and losing your self respect. You will hit
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 6:39am
How is everyone doing with NC? hang in there!

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