Dissapearing Act
Find a Conversation
Dissapearing Act
| Sat, 04-07-2007 - 5:44pm |
I really wish I would've read that article on iVillage titled "Why do men lose interest" because it definitely described the guy I was dating. First off, I must've dated half of Chicago this year and have not met one man who I clicked with, until i met "doc". He was 40, handsome, and single for about a year. No signs of baggage right? He started off really strong, talking about a future with me, wanting me to stay at his house, and talking about him and I living together. First I brushed it off, but as the months went by, I started to really picture me and this man in a relationship. Our first problem was the sex. It was great, he knew everything to do but it just wasn't enough. I'm 30 and he's 40 and in great shape. Yeah ok, he's a surgeon and works all these crazy hours, and I understand all that, but don't spend every night with me and not give me the goodies more than once a week. When a new couple starts having sex, they should be doing it as often as possible. I even asked him was he not attracted to me and he gave me some song and dance about why would he want me in his bed and not be attracted to me. He's just interested in more than a sexual relationship, yada, yada, yada. Anyway, I took his answer and never nagged him about it again. I met his friends and played house everyday (at his request). Then things changed. Last Sunday I called him and he returned my call 8 hours later, then I spent the night last Wednesday and he was attentive but distant. I haven't heard from him since, nor have I called him or intend to (a girl has to have her pride). My guess is that he found someone else, or the thrill of the chase is over. I can't lie, I'm crushed. I really liked this guy, and I can't help wondering, "what did I do to turn him off". My point about the article is that its true that when a man comes on that strong at the beginning, you should try to pump your brakes as much as possible. I gave him all of me and it was fun for him in the beginning, but once it seemed like we were in a relationship, he was no longer interested. He had all these plans for our future, and I could kick myself for falling for them. I always thought of myself as a smart girl when it came to relationships, but this one got over on me. I'm hurt as hell, but I will get over it eventually. I just wanted to share my story in case someone else was going thru something similar.

Purefetish30
Yes, I can relate to your story..My ex broke up with me 3 months ago..came on super strong in beginning..then when pressure on..and it was time for me to move in..boom... he broke up with me and dissappeared...It happens...i for a few months continued to go over and over what i did to turn him off...i def know there were some things..but if someone truly cares..as a team u will work thru it...it cant be one sided..
Please dont beat yourself up over it...he most likely would have done this to any girl,,..moves in quickly, once he truly feels he has u and he has "conquered" you he might have freaked out!! It is true what u said..dont move so quickly and give in...they loose interest and find someone else to pursue..
How long were u two together?? I would say that this should teach all of us about red flags..usually if a guy moves so quickly to pursue u...he does not have a realistic view on a relationship...he has a fantasy view..when things start to get "real" they disappear..they freak out and cant handle it...mine definatly did...after he dumped me..i called him one time 3 days later...left me more heart broken then ever.but i knew.. he lost interest, he had pursued me soooo hard in the beginning....once he told me he "couldnt handle the pressure" i NEVER called him, text him..nothing...and he has not made one attempt either....
I would let him be..dont call him...let him come to you..use this time to focus on yourself and ways u could behave if you do get back together..or for future relationships..but do not pursue him..he will freak...and ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who will disappear when he finally gets what he wants....use this time to focus on you.................but yeah i know..they pursue, pursue, when u finally fall for them..they truly bail......suggested reading Hes scared Shes scared or MEn who cant love.......they helped me tremendously