Do I move on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2006
Do I move on?
3
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 7:09pm
okay so this is my whole story. I have been dating a very great successful guy for three years. But it has not been a great relationship. He is very nice and sincere, but we fight like cats and dogs. We are both in our mid-late twenties. He gets very jealous of girls nights out and very (for lack of a better word) anal about most everything. The biggest problem I think I am having is the lack of interest I have in sex. I am not turned on at all anymore,but I still love him. Even when we are going strong I am less interested, this has always been a problem. Is the quality and frequency of sex just going to disappear after marriage anyway? Do I stay with this successful sweet guy, or find someone that I have more physcial chemistry with and wants to do more social activities even if I am sacraficing a better future?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
In reply to: carijean
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 8:02pm

<<>>

This is really your choice. What's more important to you?....routine or adventure. Your present BF is a nice guy and very successful. He though cannot give the excitment and passion that a relationship should have. You know, "I want you right now!" kind of feeling. He's not as social as you want him to be and most important of all you fight like cats and dogs. Honey, this IS what awaits you for the rest of your life. No sex or social life, BUT routine and fights and financial security. Can you live with that?

IMHO, you're settling for less with this guy. He's nice, successful and all, BUT who can live with nice if the spice and hot and heavy feelings are zero? Sex and intimacy are important things in a relationship as well as social skills. Can he support you in difficult times? or will be fight with you?

Moving on will be chanllenging and staying will be easier, BUT wouldn't you want to meet the guy who is not only successful but also passionate? If you stay you could be missing that boat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2006
In reply to: carijean
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 8:27pm
Thank you so much. I am desperate for advice, and I really appreciate yours. It seems no one around me can offer anything inspiring. I just need the motivation to get on with it. The hardest part is leaving the deep attachment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
In reply to: carijean
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 8:35pm
What kind of deep attachment are you talking about? Is it because you've been with him for a long time and fear being single again in search of your other half? Or is it the fact that he gives you security and routine. You have a relationship, even though it's not providing you with what you need and want?