do i send a letter
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do i send a letter
| Tue, 08-17-2004 - 8:06am |
after a passionate, albeit brief (3-4 month) relationship my BF rang me up and discussed taking our relationship to the next level. He used the C word. For me it came out of the blue, but i was ecstatic. I allowed myself to admit how much i really loved him. (this happened on the 5th aug)
Two days later as i am about to leave to visit him (he lives 75km away) he rings and says he cant do it. thats it nothing else. i was stunned. (this happened on the 8th aug)
Later that night i msned him and asked why? He gave very weak excuses and said if i wanted more i would have to ring him the next day. I did one better i drove the 75km after work and asked, still yet more weak excuses, and no real answers. He couldnt even look me in the eyes, played with his watch the whole time.
Since then i have not been able to sleep, i am depressed and despondent, and very tired. It was the fact that he brought up the idea of a committed relationship that allowed me to let the walls crumble and admit my true feelings, that hurts the most, i think.
During my sleepless nights i have written many pages about my feelings and the questions i have, i cant seem to let it go.
My question is, is it ok to send these late night writing to him, not in the hope that he will read them, but to give me some peace of mind that if he should he will know exactly how i feel with no ambiguity.
Is it a childish thing to do? A neurotic thing to do? (it is now the 17th aug)
Two days later as i am about to leave to visit him (he lives 75km away) he rings and says he cant do it. thats it nothing else. i was stunned. (this happened on the 8th aug)
Later that night i msned him and asked why? He gave very weak excuses and said if i wanted more i would have to ring him the next day. I did one better i drove the 75km after work and asked, still yet more weak excuses, and no real answers. He couldnt even look me in the eyes, played with his watch the whole time.
Since then i have not been able to sleep, i am depressed and despondent, and very tired. It was the fact that he brought up the idea of a committed relationship that allowed me to let the walls crumble and admit my true feelings, that hurts the most, i think.
During my sleepless nights i have written many pages about my feelings and the questions i have, i cant seem to let it go.
My question is, is it ok to send these late night writing to him, not in the hope that he will read them, but to give me some peace of mind that if he should he will know exactly how i feel with no ambiguity.
Is it a childish thing to do? A neurotic thing to do? (it is now the 17th aug)

Again, i think khonesty is great. Just write the letter and allow it to sit, unsent for a few days to make sure that what you send is not riddled with hurtful things. If you are just being honest. Then do it. And then let him go.
well we also communicated for 5 weeks after he broke up with me (but only through emails), he wanted friendship, I tried and it didnt work. Like you said, whatever you write them they dont see your point (or they just dont want to see it).They hate to admit that they were wrong, thats why they dont reply to us the way we wish them to reply.
I thought about sending him a letter, not just an email that he can delete and never read it again. But I know what they do with these letters, they show them to friends and they laugh about it, his friends think he is pimpin or something. I have seen it few times. I never said anything bad about my ex but guess what, for him to move on he had to talk negative about me, she was bytchin, stressing, complaining. His next girl will think he was a good guy but the girl was the bad one. How much can we really believe these guys?
We put so much effort, write them letter, think about them, cry etc. and they go to the club and find them a new one. It must be fun, we should try the same thing :o)
Sorry you're going through this!