Do I Take Him Back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2006
Do I Take Him Back?
6
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 2:06pm

My ex and I broke up last December - we had been fighting a lot and I finally just had enough. Then in March, I quit talking to him completely - cut him off cold turkey. In July, he shows up at my doorstep, in an attmept to be friends again. We start hanging out and our feelings are beginning to develop again. I still have some trust issues with him. I don't think he has ever cheated on me, but I still wonder. His sister-in-law who hates him tells me that he did.

While he and I weren't talking, he started kinda seeing this other girl and they got to be really close friends. He even took her on his family cruise. The two of them have a lot in common. She says she is totally in love with him and I think he might love her as well. I have been told that the two of them have been friends and have been sleeping together since before I even started dating him. I don't believe that, but then I don't know. He says its not true. I don't want them to talk to each other or hang out with each other, unless I am there. She is willing to completely walk out of his life so that he can have me, but he refuses to let her do that - he is insistent on her staying in his life.

What am I suppossed to think? Should I take my ex back? A part of me thinks we didn't work the first time, what makes me think we will the second? Another part of me is thinking that he may have just realized what he lost in me and has changed....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 3:04pm

Sorry, my opinion is 'Three's a crowd'. He loves the fact that the other girl is in love with him, it strokes his ego. Of course he doesn't want to give that up.

Since you have doubts about whether or not they really hooked up, walk away. He's got the best of both worlds and both women in his life are allowing him to have it that way. He's got two women after him....

::I don't want them to talk to each other or hang out with each other, unless I am there.

Unfortunately, if the two of you aren't together, you can't make that request.

::he started kinda seeing this other girl and they got to be really close friends. He even took her on his family cruise. The two of them have a lot in common. She says she is totally in love with him and I think he might love her as well. I have been told that the two of them have been friends and have been sleeping together since before I even started dating him. I don't believe that, but then I don't know. He says its not true.

What does she say?

Either way, they have shared a whole lot and my guess is that even if he wasn't sleeping with her before you and him broke up, they have been together and sleeping together since then. Can you overcome that?


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 6:09pm

From someone (me) who denied the evidence of her b-friend cheating, until it was confirmed post-breakup via reading his e-mail, one thought:

What you've heard is probably the truth. If it is, is this what you want?

If so, you probably should wear armor of every sort to protect yourself. I wish I had...

Hugs.




Edited 10/22/2006 6:17 pm ET by devuchka

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 7:30pm
Should you take him back? NO, NO, NO!!!
I don’t mean to be cruel, but the minute you take him, you give him the power. My ex and I also took a break for 2 months in our 3 ½ year relationship. Guess what, we are not together and I wish that I never took him back!!!! It was the biggest mistake because I now feel like I can’t breathe without him, and I known it hurts because its still hurts me and there isn’t a day I don’t wish to be with him, but you are strong and you will find someone who will treat you right and never put you down!!!! I hope all goes well but don’t give in, they all pretend to be nice at the beginning!!
Take care
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 2:20pm

Seems to me the best thing to do would be

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 4:20pm

I've been thinking about this and I have to say that I cant tell you what to do but I want to tell you about my situation and how I feel about it and maybe that can give you another perspective.


A few

One Little Ladybug
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 4:35pm

onething i could advice....IF YOUR READY TO TAKE ALL OF THIS DRAMA....GO FOR IT!!!

but about the person telling you about that craft.....i will suggest dont listen to all what other people tells you...I used to be like you..i always listen to my friend telling me all the BS of my exbf.....so ofcourse i believe all of her story....guess what IT WAS A RECIPE TO DISASTER...

so if i were you just do your own investigation....OR EITHER IF HE TOLD YOU THEY DONT HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP...TRUST HIM...STOP PUSHING HIS BUTTON....THIS WILL LEAD TO ANOTHER BREAK UP...SO IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE WITH THIS PERSON....TRY TO WORK THINGS FOR YOURSELF ESP THE INSECURITY PART....COZ IF YOU CANT CONTROL THIS...I'M TELLING YOU NOW THIS RELATIONSHIP WONT LAST LONG!!!!

GOOD LUCK