do i wish ex a happy bday

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
do i wish ex a happy bday
5
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 3:31pm
I was just wondering i was with my ex for 3 yrs and weve been broken up for about 3 months..I'm pretty much over him and didn't want to send him any mixed signals so i wanted to know his bday is tomorrow should i email him wishing him a happy bday or just leave it alone? I mean do you think he expects it or doesnt care...any thoughts would be appreciated, thanks linz
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 4:49pm
Nah, I wouldn't call him.

I went through the same thing not too long ago. My ex's birthday was in early October and for about a week before & a week after it, I debated over whether I should say something to him. I ended up having a weak moment one night and giving in...I just sent him an IM that said "I know I'm late, but happy birthday." Nothing between us changed because of it--instead of feeling like I was being a nice ex-girlfriend, I felt crappy because he didn't respond.

Of course, your situation could be different than mine. Did your relationship end badly? Would it set you back in your healing process if he didn't respond, either at all or in the way you want? Are you hoping that something will come out of you contacting him? Have you talked to him at all since your breakup?

If you guys ended on a good note and are still civil with one another, then perhaps it'd be nice of you to send some birthday wishes his way. But if it ended badly and you haven't talked to him since you broke up, then don't bother. I felt bad about not saying anything to my ex on his actual birthday...but later I thought about it and realized he would probably never say anything to me when mine comes around. Also, the only reason my ex would want to hear from me is to know that I haven't forgotten him--he is very arrogant and probably expected me to try and contact him. I regret now that I did--it did nothing but make me feel worse.

Basically what I'm saying is if your relationship didn't end well, I wouldn't say anything to him...it will show him that you've moved on with your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 6:15pm
thanks for your advice,no we have not talked but we didn't end it badly we just always got in petty fights and no one broke up with no one we just stopped talking, but im not gonna email him now i just wanted to say thankyou and sorry for u and your ex, linz
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 9:07pm
No problem!

I think you're making the right decision. I'm sorry to hear about you and your ex as well, but I think we'll both be better off without them :) Stay strong! Good luck with everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 10:23pm
I wouldn't send anything unless you're planning on being friends with him later on and if that's the case I'd just send a quick email "Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday" and that's it...no small talk along with it. Good luck!!









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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 1:58pm
Good question. One I'll be dealing with too on the 19th. I think that when you break up, and cease all contact, then it's not a good idea to reappear to wish a happy b-day. Especially if the breakup was your idea because he'll see that as an opening to take your temperature about a reconciliation. If you think a birthday greeting might lead to reopening your old wounds then don't go there. If you committed to staying friends, then maybe. That's up to you.