Do you miss the lifestyle?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Do you miss the lifestyle?
5
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 8:48pm

One of the things about my exbf that I really miss is the lifestyle we had. He has a sport (fishing) that he loves more than life and he introduced me to it. I really liked it and got pretty good at it. It was something we did every weekend and I really miss it. The sad part is, it's not really something I could feasably do by myself because of the equipment involved. It makes me sad because I know this spring I will really wish I could be out on the water.

I think that's one of the sad things about women--we take up their interests and then when they're gone we sometimes have to give up the interest. Has anyone else experienced this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 9:22pm

One of my ex's did introduce me to a few hobbies and interests of his, but I did not drop them once we broke up. I just found new people to do them with. Maybe there is a local club you could join that would allow you to keep this interest without having to put out a lot of cash. Perhaps you could borrow fishing equipment. I live in the south and we have women's angler clubs here that are made up of only women who love to fish. you may find one near you if you look.

Good luck,
YG

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 9:57pm
I know what you mean. My exbf went to Michigan State University and I'll be attending University of Kentucky for grad school, and every weekend we would watch the MSU football game and had plans to watch all the basketball games (we're both big college basketball fans). We (or at least I) was looking forward to that time together; a common interest. It's really weird to think about how much free time I had now that I'm not spending it all with him, but I never noticed how much time it was until now. You go from seeing or talking to this person everyday to not at all. It's hard to get used to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 10:17pm
You may be right. I'll have to check into that. When I was married, my husband and I took up scuba diving. I kept my gear because I thought I might go on a dive trip sometime. Of course, I never have, but I could. I don't know why we think we have to have a partner to do things with. Many things can be done as part of a group or alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 4:46pm

YES, this has happened to me and like you, my ex introduced me to fishing and we did a lot of it when we were together. He also introduced me to 4-wheelin which I loved and still do but I would never go out and buy a 4-wheeler or fishing equipment on my own. I really do miss the lifestyle we had together (a lot more than I miss him) but I can just hope that one day, I will be re-introduced to both by either another man or on my own. In the meantime, try your best to find something that JUST you like to do. I recently joined a book club with some of my girlfriends and I am going to do some volunteer work for Special Olympics next year. We women are set up by nature to please others before our own needs (that is why we become mothers sooner or later) and we forget sometimes that our needs and hobbies should come first.

Take Care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 6:08pm
Yes, and it's also so painful when he tells me that fishing without me just doesn't feel the same. I think this has to be one of the most difficult breakups I've ever been through.