Do you think theres any hope????
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| Mon, 07-02-2007 - 1:47am |
We had been living together (in my house) for 2 yrs and had a nasty break up last weekend. We had been out, and I felt like he had been just was plain rude to me all nite. When we got home, we argued about it and he yelled he was moving out(this was the 2nd time during an arguement that he threatened to move out)and lately I had been feeling he was looking for a way out of our relationship, but didn't have the backbone to say so. So I told him this time to go, pack all his stuff and get out now, not to go to bed and do it later, then I slapped him in the face. That made him so angry he did pack up everything and left immediately. (This was at 3am. early sun. morning) He even took the dog. The next day I felt like crap I had slapped him and just wished he would call, so I could say I was sorry and hope that we would work it out, but he didn't call. I felt I couldnt call him, b/c then I'd be saying it was ok to treat me like a dog. Later that nite I couldnt find my cell phone charger and thought he might have taken it b/c he did pick it up and threw it on the bed when he realized it was mine and was throwing all his clothes on the bed too. So I finally called to asked him if he took my charger by mistake, he said he didn't. I just asked that he look and let me know if he finds it. I also went on to apologize for slapping him in the face. He more less just said he couldnt forgive me for slapping him in the face. I told him, that I felt he pushed me to this just so he could have his way out. Then I went on to say good luck and hope he can be happy now, end of phone call. I thought I was doing ok, then he called me on Thursday at work and me to leave early and meet with him, I told him I couldn't leave so he said he'd call me as soon as I got home b/c he had to go back into work later that nite. Well he didnt call until 2 hrs after I got home and knowing he had to go back to work I said, we'll just wait until tomorrow nite cuz I didn't want to be on a time schedule. We had a lot to talk about and was afraid it would end up in sex with little talking.
Well the next nite (fri nite), he called and we did meet, it was nice, he was affectionate to me (something he's never good at showing)We walked along the water, hand in hand and he was really being nice. But there was very little talking and it did end up with sex before the nite was over. Afterwards I said well what now. He said he wasn't ready to rush and move back in, he wasn't sure how he felt, it was going to take some time b/c he was still upset that I had slapped him. He had to go back into work that night also, so I didn't push the subject anymore. He kissed me and said he'd call the next day (which was my b-day) after he woke up and take me out to dinner. He said he might call me later in case he had to pull over and take a nap (he is a truck driver) and have me call back to wake him up. Well he did call like 130am sat. and asked me to call back and wake him up in 30 mins. Well I ended up falling asleep and didnt call him. I woke up at 6am and tried callin him then..no answer. I thought ok, he is out of the truck and figured he would call back. Well he didn't and I tried again around 8am, he answered then. He said he was just done then and on his way home. (he was staying in a camper at his moms house) I told him I was sorry I fell back to sleep, and never called him back. He said he got woke up by a cop an hour and half later and then just let it go. He kept saying over and over that he couldnt wait to get home lay down and stretch out, get some sleep, he didn't feel good, and his back was hurting too. He never once wished me happy birthday or said I'll call you later or anything before we hung up either.
I started to feel that I had been used the nite before just for sex and that he wasn't going to call later. As the day went on and it got later and later, everytime I thought about the nite before I start crying. I just knew he wasn't going to call. I had tried calling him once after I knew he should have had 6 hrs sleep and there was no answer. I was feeling used, angry and hurt all at once too. Finally by 7pm I just got ready to go out. I couldnt sit around the house anymore. There were a few things of his still here, so I threw them in a bag and next thing I know I am driving towards his moms house. I talked myself into thinking, something might have happened to him that I should go check on him since he wasn't feeling so good that morning and if it wasn't that and he did just use me the nite before for sex I wanted him to say so. I did try calling him again just before I got there and he still didn't answer the phone. He never sleeps that long! I didn't know what to expect when I got there, but was up smoking a cig. (you could tell he just woke up too) He said what are you doing here. I said well I didnt know if something was wrong since he was supposed to call me and take me out for dinner or that he just used me the nite before, but I had to find out. He said he just woke up, he didnt go to sleep until after noon time, he had worked on his car. I said well would have been nice if you would have called me then before laying down since he had said that morning he was sooo tired and didn't feel good. I asked what he wanted to do, he said he hadnt eaten and still wanted to go out for dinner. He said he had planned on giving me money and take me to the slots for my birthday. I asked where my card was, he didn't get one. I said I wanted the card more than anything, and asked him to stop and get one. He said no, he wasn't going to get a card, then his sister calls...he invites her and her husband to the slots also and we even have to pick them up, even though they already had dinner.(I thought oh boy - he doesn't even wanna go out alone with me) We finally get dinner about 10pm that nite (at the slots buffet) then go play some slots where I am practically ignored b/c his sister is stuck up his butt. We finally leave about 12:30am (his sister had to get back home b/c of the babysitter) We get back to his moms where his camper is at one am, I said I could just stay the nite since it was so late, but he tells me that he doesnt want me to, he still wasnt sure how he felt about me and wasn't ready to sleep with me just yet. I said fine, no problem. I said I did have a few things in his camper that were mine that I was going to take. He said don't get mad. I said I'm not mad, but I couldn't hardly hold back the tears, cuz I had the feeling I wouldnt be seeing him after tonite. I gathered up what little I had in there and I know he wasnt real happy about that either, by some of the comments made. Then I told him thanks for everything and started to leave he said call me when you get home so I know you made it alright. I didn't answer I just left. I had to drive 40 miles home at 1:30am bawling my eyes out the whole way. I thought if he really cares if I made it home ok, he'd call me by morning. Its 1:30am and he never called at all ....I've been doing nothing but crying off and on all day ....maybe I shouldnt have taken the little bit of stuff I had in his camper. I should have just let that go?? OMG, I feel so cheap and used for letting him have his way with me the other night....this has been the worst birthday of my life.....I can't help it though I do love him and it hurts so bad......

Welcome to the board wisha2007,
I don't even know where to start.