Does a "break" mean a "break up"?
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| Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:40pm |
I'm new to this board....and have found by lurking on here..( :) ) that you guys have all been very helpful...wanted to ask you guys your opinion on this....
I've posted this on a few other topics on here as well...
I'm in (or was in rather ) a LDR now for 8 months....my guy just recently told me he needs a "break"....
I wanted to know what a "break" means to you guys....
Aside from the fact that most people don't think LDRs can work...I just wanted to know your opinions on what a "break" is to you....I'm getting different opinions from my friends...some say a "break" is a break up for good....while some are saying a "break" just means he needs time away to think about things....
He definitely is confused....but he also said he feels pressured....he feels that I want to be married with kids already and he feels the pressure that this all has to happen NOW.
I've never said anything about having kids, being married to him..etc....but his family always teases us....He's actually my best friend's brother-in-law....so that's how we met...through her and her husband.
I guess no matter how I feel or what I want...I need for him to take this "BREAK"...funny thing is right now it doesn't seem like a break...we're still talking every or every other day...but it's not about us...just about life/things in general.
He said he's always felt this pressure...and now he just needs a break from it all.....but ofcourse because I like him so much...I'm hoping it's just a tiny break.
We'll be seeing each other in two weeks when I'm visiting my best friend...I guess it'll be kept on a "friendly" level...unless he says or does more.
He keeps saying we need a break for right now. But then he'll say it's a break for good for right now.... :( Is this "break for now" his NICE way of dumping me? :(
Any opinions would be appreciated :)

I responded to you on another board a couple days ago and I know this is a repeat...but I think it's VERY important to TALK about what the expectations are for the "break".
And frankly, I think it's not cool for him to be talking to you...if he wants a break, then he needs to take the darn break already!!! It sounds to me like he doesn't want a break so much as he wants his cake and eat it too, ya know (i.e., wants the benefit of your friendship and the pleasure of talking to you, but no obligations or responsibilities).
Sheri
"Does a "break" mean a "break up"? "
Depends if you're a Ross or a Rachel lol. Sorry, I know it's not funny to live thru. I think a break can not mean a break up, but in most cases that isn't what is meant. A "break" is a specified amount of time or else it is a break-up. Now for your case specifically, I don't get it. It's LD. What does he need a break from, you don't see eachother? I say you need to talk to him and say that you need a definition on what HE thinks a break is. We can tell you what it is to us, but it only really matters what it means to him. If he hems and haws over it, I'd take that as a break up.
IMHO, i would thing a BREAK means just that. I'll use an Anology, but forgive me for using 'a game' as the center. I would think that if an Athlete needed a 'break' from the game....he just wants to take time and cool out... but if he 'retired' then he'd be done.
This is just my opinion. I do hope this helped even a smidge :)
Thanks everyone....
He and I did speak about this "break"...yesterday...he said it's a break for right now...and he doesn't want to talk about it anymore...he said there's no one else...he just needs to get his mind clear. He just felt like he was being smothered he said....we talked multiple times a day via phone and text...every day...and I also think he's getting some pressure from his family...they keep asking both of us when we're getting married and having kids...I'm very close to them since I'm his sister-in-law's best friend....he says to just give him time and we'll take it day by day....we usually see each other once a month for about a week or so....I'm headed to his state in a week...but this time I will stay with my best friend, but he and I will spend some time together....
So that's where I'm at right now.....I kind of want to go back to the days where we had fun, laughed all the time...no pressure or worries at all...
On a funny note....when he said we needed to take a "break" I told him I felt like I was living an episode of "friends"! tee..hee...