Does this happen to anyone else?
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Does this happen to anyone else?
| Tue, 05-24-2005 - 4:48pm |
I've been broken up for exactly two weeks today, from my bf of 5 yrs. I'm devasted to say the least. I find myself looking at EVERYTHING in terms of "that was when we were together : ( " which makes me even sadder thinking he was in my life then and I should have been the happiest person in the world. Now I'm pretty sure I'm the saddest.

Most people who have had a break up go through a similar process - looking around and thinking in terms of 'then and now'. You will find there will be a lot of triggers for such, and you could very well be doing so for a while, as you are still in the grieving stage, and letting go.
However, the key in remembering 'then' is to also remind yourself of the potential for 'now' - now, it is up to you to make the decision to move forward to a happier life, and a fullfilling one, as well. For every 'then' you remind yourself about, come up with a positive 'now' plan or vision, as well. As such, when you do remember things, you will also get into the habit of 'present tense' thinking, as well - necessary to make it through a break up.
And remember, no matter how you are feeling or what you are thinking, it is all normal. Everyone has a horrendous break up story to share, and at some point, we have all thought a break up was the end of our world as we knew it. But you will get through it.
I know exactly how you feel... I went through the very same thing. Mine was mostly with specific dates of the year.
Eventually you will stop thinking in these terms... it will just take some time.
Please take good care of yourself!
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"You get what you settle for"...
I just wanted to let you know that no matter how hard it seems now it does get better. I have a similar story...
Dated a guy for 4.5 years, spent most of college and onto grad school together. After almost a year of grad school, we decide to take a break, see if that would help us fix our problems etc. Two months later he is engaged to another girl in our program. I have spent the last year seeing the two together, taking class with them and hearing all about them, while trying to move on and find new friends.
This past April marked one year of being single. Now, a year later I can look back and realize how much stronger a person I am because of the situation and how if I was with him I wouldn't be the strong person I am. Break-ups suck no matter when or how they happen, but I can now honestly say they happen for a reason. Whether you realize it now or a year or two from now, you will see how this situation will make you a better, more amazing you. That's not to say you won't have sad times and tears, but they gradually decrease and you realize one day "Oh my goodness, I survived!"
For me to deal with it all I started doing things I never got the chance to do when I was with him...I started running (signed up for a 1/2 marathon this Fall!) and took up dancing again. I found by doing new things it helped me move towards the future with the new instead of trying to the same old thing and being stuck in the past.
I hope this helps, even just a little.