Does he deserve my friendship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Does he deserve my friendship?
1
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 10:51pm

My boyfriend broke up with me 4 weeks ago. Almost immediatley, he said he wanted to be friends. At first I thought it might be possible, more for the fact that I couldn't handle him being out of my life. But lately, I just don't know. I have been such a mess, riding out the highs and lows of this breakup. Moving on in some ways and going backwards in others. And he keeps calling to check in, ask about his mail, arrange to pick up stuff, although it never goes further than that. I have not seen him since he walked out the door almost a month ago.

He called again tonight. As I had posted earlier, he wanted to take my daughter out for a lunch or dinner or something this past weekend. He never called and i was pretty choked at him for it. But he called tonight wondering what happened. I guess he missed my earlier call in the week and wanted to know if I tried to contact him.

He began to talk as if nothing had happened between us. He gave me his new phone number and started talking about when he could see my daughter. I told him I was moving out of the apartment we used to live in and he actually offered to help move me in to my new place. I stumbled, not sure what to say, wanting to be polite, but I just couldnt hold it back. Before I knew it, i was back in that hurt place I was 4 weeks ago, questioning what I had done wrong and why he was doing this to us.

He was very cold on the phone after that. He said that he's offered time and time again his help and that he wasn't going to keep offering it. We basically left it that I would call him when I was ready.

What the heck is he thinking? I can't imagine him not being in my life, but I can't possibly understand how we can be friends right now. And I have made that clear to him. He said far too many hurtful things to me when he left. I don't even believe that he even likes me, let alone wants to be friends. He says there's "no hard feelings" like what we went through was just nothing. I have been friends with him for 10 years and we were together for 2. How does one just walk away?

-adc

-almostdoesntcount

 

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Avatar for deneeecie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 12:38am

There is one important rule when it comes to breakups and that is NO CONTACT.

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