Does he Really want this breakup?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Does he Really want this breakup?
24
Thu, 10-04-2007 - 6:53am
My boyfriend and I of 2 years broke up 2 days ago. We had been having problems since he wanted his "space" about 4 months ago. I tried to give it to him but it just was too difficult after a while. It was as if he asked me to go backwards in the relationship.

It was kind of a mutal thing, expcept that I told him if he would just meet me half way on a few things we could stay togethr. He felt he couldnt and that he wont be able to give me what I want in life so its best this way.

He wants to meet me tomorrow to collect his things he left here. I agreed and now Im afraid 1) I cant handle watching him walk out that door forever and 2) Im afraid the attraction between us will end us up in bed togerher.

He told me the other day that no contact was best for us, yet the last 2 days he sees me online and he messages with me for an hour. He makes comments about me dating again, looking for new guys as if hes jealous. If hes jealous and wants me....why is he ending us????

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 2:20pm

Sorry Ladydeb I wasn't able to answer you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 8:56pm

When someone cheats on you and lies to you and is forever looking for that better deal (by keeping a presence on dating sights) it's best to leave RIGHT away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 6:19am

Michelle,


Thank you for your help and for sharing your story.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 8:17am

I hope I've helped.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 8:27am

"I slipped up yesterday and now Im on day one all over. I wont beat myself up, Ill just start fresh today, and after the slip up I have more determination than ever."

I'm so glad to hear you're not beating yourself up. It looks to me like this lesson has set you firmly on your path to recovery. You sound so strong right now. And when you feel sad and lonely in the future, you can read what he said to you--clear evidence of that feeling of "yuuuck" when you reached out to him.

I know you can do it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 8:30am
My question to you:
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 1:00pm

I wish I knew the anwser to that one myself......I think it was always out of lonliness and a lack of self esteem.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 1:15pm

Just another thought...Ive cleaned out everything and packed up the memories.....The only thing I havent done is delete him from my yahoo IM .......maybe tonight is a good night for that...its my daughters bday, the start of a new year in her teenage life.....maybe the greatest gift I can give her is being able to see her mom stand strong and smile again.....


It wont be easy but I think Ill do it when everyones in bed tonight......ill write that letter telling him how I feel, burn the letter then hit the delete button......seems silly I guess...but its my last form of contact Im holding onto....

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 5:49pm

Michelle,


Yes you have helped and your right ...I do know...I know what I have to do and now I just have to get through it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 6:00pm
I will be thinking of you.