Does it really get better???
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| Sun, 01-28-2007 - 4:59pm |
Although everyone says it gets better and easier it just isint for me. Two months feels like a while to be feeling this pain. I dont know what to do with myself and honestly feel like this is as good as it is gonna get. I just want to be HUMAN again. I feel like this is never ending and as time goes on i notice more and more how much i miss my old life and dont have a life now. I am so sick of feeling sorry for myself and asking why is this happening. I must have had to do something wrong. How do i go from being a normal person with love and a future plan to nothing. I feel so unloved and unneeded. When will this go away. 8 yrs is a long time and although i am young i still feel like this is the end for me. I will never love again or be loved, how when i feel like it isint getting any better. I am envious of everyone else because that was suppose to be me and now i feel like a nobody and nobody wants me or need me here. I dont ever think i will be able to have a new relationship. All i will do is compare and miss my ex. He was my world i gave him my all and now i am empty and lost. I come home and do the same thing now and i miss having my companion. I am at a loss of what to do anymore. I am lonely, empty and unloved. On top of this i am sure he is fine and with someone new already who has taken my place but i sit here and in agony and misery feeling like this is it for me. I just cant take this anymore......
Any advice??

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Eight years is such a long time to have to put behind you, that's for sure. Especially considering that you were a kid when you met him and now you're an adult thrown back into the dating world. I can only imagine that you haven't been through many break-ups before this one if any seeing your age.
Sometimes people think that you just need to snap out of it, but I believe in the grieving process. You obviously loved him very much so you should cry and miss him now, but I know for a fact that one day you won't. It seems hopeless now, yes. I had dated this absolutely beautiful guy from Italy for a month in May. It was a little scary how fast I fell in love with him, but I know it was real on my side. He actually ended things on my 30th birthday while treating me to a weekend away. It came out of the blue and, of course, he made sure to have sex with me one last time before doing what he did. I was devestated, especially since he was the first guy I dated in two years. I couldn't believe it. I had taken two years away from the dating scene because the guy before him had really messed up my head... I finally feel good enough to get back into it and it seems like the same crap is happening again. I wanted to give up because I have always had trouble relationship-wise at it's still going on at age 30. After a month of crying, hating myself and awful thoughts I met P and stopped thinking about the Italian right then and there. Unfortunately, P and I have recently broken up and I am very sad and miss him terribly, but I don't feel as devestated because I know that I WILL meet someone just as suddenly as I met him.
And you will, too. :)
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