Does this message show that there is any hope for the future?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Does this message show that there is any hope for the future?
5
Tue, 05-03-2011 - 10:53am

We've broken up, (not on bad terms) But she continues to ignore my calls and emails...She responded to my last email asking her why she is ignoring me, with this:

"I wouldnt say i'm ignoring you but i am attempting to not have contact with you. when Im on the phone with you i get sad, i start to cry and it makes me very unhappy. and its not because i want to be back together but it's because i have loved you for the past 2+ years (i can say + b/c its may first now). it's just difficult in general right now Tay, you know that. but know that im not avoiding you bc im dating anyone but bc im trying to protect myself."

Does that seem like a positive message or a negative one? Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

It depends on what you mean by "positive" and "negative".

She's told you she doesn't want to get back together. but she like everyone else who has ended a long relationship, is still healing and is going the best she can to move on. She's trying to be nice but she's also letting you know that she doesn't want the relationship back.

It's over. I'm sorry. Now you really have to stop calling and Emailing her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002

Sorry to say, but there is no hope for the future. What she's doing is called No Contact. It is just what it says it is. She's doing this so she can get over you and avoid that drama that frequently follows a break up. She is asking you to stop contacting her in a very polite way so as not to hurt your feelings, or to get your hopes up. Be kind. Stop trying to contact her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Thanks. (no sarcasm here either). I needed to hear that. Even though I'm tearing up as I write this. I think I agree with you. I wish there was hope, but you know how that goes. Funny thing is, I'm moving on with my life. Working out, dating some nice girls, tyring to enjoy myself. I just wish I could fully shake this feeling. I'm a fairly attractive guy with a good head on my shoulder and women have always liked me, but none of that seems to matter right now. This break up really kind of zapped me. This is the first time I wish I could get a "redo" in a relationship. Not cause I was the one who exclusively doing wrong, but because I know so much now that I didn't know before and I would use all that I know now to our benefit.

I'll recover, I already have started recovering. But damn, this one will probably leave a scar. I'm in a wedding with her in a few months, I wonder how that will go. I almost don't want to be in the wedding anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002

In a few months, especially with no contact, you'll feel a lot better. If you're good friends with the bride and groom, this isn't worth bowing out of the wedding for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
" Not cause I was the one who exclusively doing wrong, but because I know so much now that I didn't know before and I would use all that I know now to our benefit. "
You could use your newness with the new gal ! but unfortunately, your ex became a scapegoat in your learning .duh