does no contact make them come back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
does no contact make them come back?
4
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 9:17am
what is the purpose of it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 12:11pm
In some cases it can make them come back (realize what they are losing), but it's not a guarantee.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 11:23am

I think that the best way to go into No Contact is to do it for yourself.
Not as a tool or a hopeful mentality that will have you thinking this will bring back the person.
In my experience NO CONTACT is the best way to get clarity and to start healing oneself in order to make the best decision for ONESELF.

Its hard as hell. And it's so hard to understand how the one person you talk to two to three times a day, said good night to, called when you had good/bad news and just was a constant, is suddenly no longer "allowed" to be on your call list.
But this is where detaching the bond must come in. :(

Good luck to you!

ps Two weeks NO CONTACT and feeling better then day 1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2006
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 7:49pm

Well, I've never been to this particular board, but as I sit in a hotel just minutes from my house, I have to say, been there, done, that, and a resounding YES, (at least for me)... it made him want to come back all right. Did it change him? No, hence the hotel room.


When I left my husband last year, my therapist was concerned about the verbal abuse I had been taking. These were the rules she said I should make. #1. No physical contact. #2. No verbal contact. #3. Written contact only if he would seek counseling for why he was so angry and he had to be nice. Otherwise, zip.


Well, needless to say, he did seek counseling, was nice, and we did get back together. His verbal abuse was due to "his having to deal with my 7 year illness". Now, he says his verbal abuse is due to his depression. He

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 11:29pm
Welcome to the board sandi515 and thanks for participating.