don't do what i did

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
don't do what i did
12
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 2:28pm
What ever you do,please,please do not "check" on your Ex.I thought i was strong enough after 3 weeks of NC,And i bit me in the you know what.I found out he is on a dating website,it about crushed me.He can go on & here i am having a "pity party" well no more! I am so sick of feeling like this!arg! Thanks for reading this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 2:45pm
Wow!! I have come to realize all guys are the same. My ex of 8 yrs created a my space page about 4 wks after our breakup. Men suck i swear. It is like we were just put here for them to walk all over us. It is so hard to move on and continue a life but they are free to do it.. Why is that why is it that our emotions and feelings are so different. I cant even imagine being with someone new it makes me sick to my stomach and he is ok to do it. I hate this crap sometimes wish i would have never loved him or been in love a all for that matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 3:11pm
Right on,sister! How can they just move on??? it's only been 3 weeks since the break up.What a ____________(fill in the blank)We were together for 2 yrs,going to get married,had our kids names picked out,Then Poof! See Ya!I can only think that the way guys think ,is that they don't.Surely one day they will come to the realization of what they lost ,when they severed our hearts. Keep posting,I have found that reading books,& going to therapy 2 times a week ,and venting here ,has helped.Hang in there!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 4:27pm

This Sunday was rough because I too found out that my bf created a Facebook profile. It sent me spinning and now I'm still trying to recover. And I always thought he was so different from all the other guys out there - turns out he's just another average Joe. It hurts SO much.

We're all in this together - shared experience.

I love how women can come together for comfort and support - even as total strangers.

Thank you so much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 4:31pm

WOW.. That sounds just like me. Always thought he was never into that myspace stuff but like you said it hurts so much to find out after 8 yrs that all along what you thought was wrong and that he is like the rest.

It really sucks and hurts so much. I havent looked at it for about a week and hope i will never look again. They are so childish it makes me sick to my stomach. We are in this together. Trust me i know how much it sucks and still have thoughts that i cant get through this..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:17pm

Ladies, ladies.....


Let's not lump all men together that way.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 4:52pm
I agree that you shouldn't paint all men with that brush. As one recently dumped and very, very heartbroken about it, I can tell you we don't all bounce back immediately. Feels like I'm never going to bounce back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 7:16pm
Hey ladies,
Just b/c your exes are on dating sites and myspace, etc., does not mean they've moved on. I mean, of course, all of us dumpees need to assume they've moved in order to move on ourselves, but dating doesn't necessarily mean 'moved on'. Within a week of being dumped, I was on a dating site. I've been dating like mad for the past couple of months. But have I moved on??? NO.
I recently closed out my profile, canceled my last 3 dates, and told every person I was semi-involved with that I'm not ready to date. It doesn't help you move on. It just makes you feel even more lonely because no one is like the one you lost.
I'm not saying the dumpers aren't happily dating, necessarily, I'm just saying one person can't replace another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:11pm
men are scum! my ex has not only gotten into a relationship 9 weeks after he broke our engagement up, but he's dating an old ex he broke up with 3 years ago. And, even though I've had NC, I decided to send him a congrats email (i think he's dating her to make me jealous, and i didn't want to give him that satisfaction) and he has since blocked me from every contact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 11:10am
I know! I have a love/hate relationship with myspace. I checked my exes myspace account...it has been months of no contact and I've been strong and haven't even looked over old e-mails but honestly sometimes I hate the internet. I've moved on and am happily dating another but I was throwing things out today, saw some old pictures of us (which I threw out) and couldn't resist. Then again, he looks a lot more pathetic to me than he did when he decided he "didn't know what he wanted out of life" so I'm sort of glad I did it...it is like he went off on a deep end. He used to want kids, now he is not sure, he used to have a "normal" profile now he claims to go to schools he didn't go to and get degrees in things he didn't get degrees in. Very odd.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 12:11pm

I totally agree and would like to share Pinky's post from way back when:

Think of your relationship like a big house that has been demolished. What do you do next? You can't live in the house any more! So you decide to clear up the mess (emotion), brick by brick, it takes a bit of time, but you liked living in that big house so you guess it's worth the effort. Then there's a big hole in the ground that needs to be filled up again. You start this process by making new friends who are happy to help you rebuild your new big house, so it's bigger and better than it was before.

Your ex has decided that he's going to build on top of all the rubble (denial), he/she can't be bothered to take time out to clear up all the mess. So off he/she goes, building on top of the old house. He/She acknowledges that the structure is a little wobbly but he/she says that it will do for him right now.

The storm hits. Guess whose house is still standing?

Your house is built on a solid foundation. His/Her house is a big fake "paper house", yours a big strong stone structure. Now tell me who's going to have the better future? It's up to you to decide.


Carrie

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