Don't know how to handle this....
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| Mon, 03-12-2007 - 12:53pm |
My high school sweetheart and I went separate ways after we graduated. While he found someone else and has been with her for most of the past 6 years, I dated different people on and off, never finding Mr. Right. Although I initiated the breakup, I found it very hard to get over and have never quite given up on the hope we might get back together someday. Well, a few months ago, I ran into him when we were both home for the holidays, and he said he wanted to give it another try. I was so excited, having dreamt about this happening for so long. However, I also tried to be cautious; I told him I didn't want to be a rebound for him, and wanted him to be sure he was over his ex, because I needed to know that I was the only woman in his life. He assured me he was ready, and although we live a couple of hours away from each other, we have been able to spend a lot of time together, and become close again. In fact, I was a little surprised at how comfortable he was in moving so quickly with our relationship.
Well, lately something has been off, and he finally confessed to me that his ex, who lives 4 hours from him, contacted him, and now they talk regularly on the phone. In addition, he has begun to miss her, although he says he wishes he didn't feel that way. He tells me that he doesn't miss the relationship, and he's not in love with her, he just misses her as a person. I tried to empathize with him, and told him it was normal to miss someone that you were with for that long, but I also told him that it was going to take some time for me to be okay with it. He said he didn't want things to change between us, and he was willing to work with me on this, but that he wanted to continue to keep in touch with her. When we got off the phone, I thought things were fine.
That was about 5 days ago, and he hasn't contacted me since. He told me he would call me the next day, and I can usually rely on him to follow through with that. I tried calling him, and he didn't answer and didn't return my call. I'm trying to lay off, but I'm really starting to get worried; this is the longest we've gone without talking since we began dating. Should I worry that he's trying to give me a hint? I don't really know what to think, and don't really know what my plan of action should be for handling this. I know I should probably leave it alone until he makes a move, but it's killing me - this is the person I thought I could marry (someday!), and now I'm so stressed out about the prospect of losing him that I can't eat, and can barely sleep. How do you get through something like this?
Edited 3/12/2007 5:02 pm ET by ord847

Hi ord847 and welcome to the board.
Sorry you are going through this, my first thought was not a nice name to describe his behavior, but I'll refrain.