Don't know what to do!?!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Don't know what to do!?!!!
3
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 1:05am
Ahh, OK, so my boyfriend broke up with me on 4 days ago on AOL, in an instant message convo. I was stunned and angry and all sorts of stuff. He refused to talk to me in person, so i decided I had to write him a letter because I felt he needed to know how i feel. So I did, and it ended up being 5 pages. I want to give it to him so badly but I don't know if it's to soon, or what. Please give me some advice, also some advice on how to cope with this, we were together for 6 months and i just wish it wasn't over :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 8:37am
so sorry for your break up....it is hard i know too well

i would not send him the letter....it was good that you wrote it...for yourself..but do not give him the satisfication of mailing it...if he could be so cold as to break up with you online i do not think he deserves the long letter....

make him wonder what you are doing by moving on and staying busy.....try to have no contact with him at all....that will help you heal faster...

rejection of any kind is hard but tell yourself that this is for the best...obviously he is a guy that could not be trusted so better to find out now than later...

good luck and try to stay busy with friends...and take care of yourself

hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 2:29am
Hey-hope things are going better for you. I personally think your ex is an a-hole! He broke up w/ you over AOL? How immature! Seriously you can do better. Did you even do anything wrong? Trust me-speaking from personal experince-don't give him the letter. If he wants it to be over a letter will not help. You can't take back written words plus you don't want to look desperate. I really don't know your whole situation-I guess it depends on why he broke up w/ you. If you feel you really need to tell him what you feel-definitely wait a while before you go sending him anything. If he doesn't want to talk to you that usually means there is another girl-no? I don't know. If you did something wrong to him-than I would say write him and let him know how you feel. I am also bummin w/ my man-guys are jerks trust me!

Going back to what I was saying b4-I really think you shouldn't write a letter. He'll show other people-your not going to know what he'll do w/ it. Believe me I've done the whole "5 page letter thing." Plus if he isn't one bit upset w/ letting you go-don't you think your letter will be pathetic to him. Wait it out and I think you will know what is right to do. Everyone gets their heart broken-I know it sucks but think of it this way there are plenty of others guys that would like you! Oh, also keep in mind when someone breaks up w/ you-its always worse. It hurts your ego. I had a guy break up w/ me a long time ago. I was so devasted but now that I look back I didn't even like him. It just hurt that he didn't want to be w/ me. I wondered why? Well I hope I helped you out a little. I am having probs w/ my man and drinking. (as pathetic as it sounds) Whenever we fight he goes out and drinks. I broke up w/ him but he's begging me back. We dated over 3 yrs. so trust me I know it hurts. What helps is if you go out w/ friends and meet new people. Good luck w/ things-I hope everything works out for you. Remember everything happens for a reaon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 1:49pm
If he broke up with you on-line then he doesn't deserve that letter. I wrote a letter to a guy I was seeing, and It was for me not him. I wrote all my thoughts and anger on paper and when I thought about him I would read the letter and remember how I was feeling. Give yourself time, and you will heal. I know it feels like a long time, but you will get over it, trust me.