Don't know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2005
Don't know what to do
2
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 8:45am

I'm 19, been with my boyfriend for ten months and we have just literally moved in together. Thing is, I'm feeling very claustrophobic. My boyfriend is 24 and has been married before. Before I met him I was always out with my friends and happy spending my money on shoes and bags and girly things, but now I never see my friends and all my money is "shared" on things for the house. I know I never should have moved in with him and now I feel trapped. I really love him and it breaks my heart to think that if i split up with him he'd have to move out even though we've only just moved intogether and I know he really loves me. Thing is there's no spark anymore. I don't feel the urge to snog him or sleep with him, I'd quite happily just hug and fall asleep. I don't know what to do, I want to be me for a couple of years before settling down but how do I go about it? Do i do it now before I waste anymore of his time but I couldn't do that to him before xmas? Anyone else had this before?

Please help,

surfmelxxxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 11:37am

Hi Surfmel, welcome to the board!


Well, I can't tell you what you should do in this situation, because only you know how you are feeling.

Nikki
Avatar for angela4ever
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 12-13-2005 - 12:05pm
I know how you are feeling. I am 27 and have lived with my bf for 2 1/2 years. I should never have moved in with him so soon. We had only been dating for 8 months at the time. I have spent the last six months thinking about how to move out. It's awful. I think the sooner the better if you are not happy. I know I'm just making things worse by waiting. I think it would be better to move out while things are still a little bit good. You don't want to end up hating the guy by the time you decide to move out. That's the point I'm getting to. It's just so hard. I don't want to hurt him but I know I will be the one who suffers more in the long run if I stay. I am going to start looking for an apartment of my own and hopefully get up enough nerve to move out after the new year.