dont understand!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
dont understand!
3
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 6:28pm
for the last 15 months ive been with my ex. id been through hell and back, when we first got together he was having a baby with some one else, so i had 2 go through her pregnancy and her having the baby, him going over the house to see the baby and her being there , which neither of them made easy. in between that he cheated on me and we split up for a month but he swore never to do it again so i took him bak. i then discovered i was pregnant, we were so happy, well i thought we were. he then started acting different i just thought it was a shock and that he might be scared of settling down. i started to see his other child so that made it easier. im 5months now and last week i found out he had been seeing the babies mother for 2months behind my back and its still going on. he has still been phoning me and spending nights with me now hes told her i wont leave him alone. im currently living at his parents house which makes it harder. i feel like the last year we spent together has all been a lie like i have just been there till she was ready to get back with him. the only thing that is keeping me going is the baby, but im scared of doing that on my own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: kaci2k4
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 8:16pm

seems like you're going to be not only an unwed mother but a single parent as well... to a guy who doesn't seem to have an idea what it means to be a father and take responsibility.

have you ever thought of giving the baby up for adoption so he/she can have a stable home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: kaci2k4
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 8:25pm

You say you are scared to do all of this on your own, but the sooner you accept that you really are on your own, the sooner you are likely to come up with a workable plan, for you and your child.

Don't waste your time and endanger your health trying to understand your partner - he is seeing other people, and is not coming close to showing any signs of maturity. If it is something that suits his needs in the moment, he will do it, regardless of the consequence to you. Hoping for any serious involvement or committment, to you or your child, or planning on such will only hurt you: one look at his track record is all the proof you need to know that.

While you are still at his parents home, do all you can now to make a 'B' plan: have a legally drawn agreement for financial support after the baby arrives; if he is not willing or able to do so, find a lawyer who will pursue his parents for their support, as it sounds as though they are ultimately still supporting him.

And for your well being, both in the short and long term, seek professional help as to how you can best prepare to move on from him, including what social services are available to you.

This guy is going no where fast: don't be a part of where he is going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: kaci2k4
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 6:51pm
I'm so sorry that you're going through all this!!
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