Dumped..
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| Thu, 08-02-2007 - 10:12am |
Last week my boyfriend of six months dumped me, by text!
I had been friends with this guy for years before we started going out together. He told me all the time that he was in love with me, I was the girl of his dreams and so on. Eventually I decided to give him a chance partly because I admired his persistence but also because my feelings for him had grown over time. When we were together he regularly told me he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, marry me etc.
Then, last week, out of the blue, he dumped me (this happened only a few days after he had taken me to a family wedding where I had spent all weekend with his family and relatives). He gave me no explanation or anything and when I asked him if we could meet up to talk about it, he refused.
Obviously I'm very upset but I’m also finding it all very difficult to understand. If anyone has any kind words or can relate to how I am feeling, I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for reading. xx

Hi Missmuppet,
My boyfriend of 5 months dumped me last night. I feel so betrayed and hurt right now. He kissed another girl a few days before and told me he needed space. I couldn't last more than few days with the torture that at the end of our break, he was going to dump me anyway. I confronted him last night and told him I wanted the truth. I needed to know, because I wasn't sure if I could last the two weeks. He had decided to dump me and be single. He's not ready to commit. The pain is at it's peak at this point. My heart has broken and it's time to heal. You and I are in the same boat. It's so difficult to go through. This is the first time I've ever been dumped and I'm 22. I haven't been single since the age of 18. Hopefully, I can work out this whole thing and discover that I don't need a man to be happy. Please know you are not alone in this... I feel the pain every second, every hour that time passes. I will be thinking about you, and I've been told the pain does subside eventually, we both need to let our hearts heal at their own pace..
Take care.
-Pikaia (If you want someone to talk with email me at pikaia85@gmail.com)
Yup..sounds pretty familiar. My ex of a year and half dumped me out of the blue after wooing me for 6 months. Oddly enough he wanted space (we only talked 2 hours or so a day, haven't seen each other in two months) and 2 days before that he'd gone off to some place to carve our names on some stupid mountain. Very odd. It's rather laughable sometimes now. But yes,all the sweet talk and promises - check. Dump by email - check.
So how a man's mind works sometimes....is a mystery.
how are you dealing?
I recently read this somewhere and it made me laugh: "I imagine one day when I get to heaven, there will be a whole room filled with missing socks and men." So THAT'S where they disappear to!
I too can relate. My boyfriend of 4 months dumped me by email. Well...actually, it wasn't even a clear "dump." He used the guise of being possibly redeployed to Iraq--something he KNOWS would freak me out--as a reason to disappear one weekend and then say he wanted me to think long and hard about what he was asking me. Um, he never asked me anything! In the middle of the email, he adds "I care a lot about you. You offer everything a man could want and need" which in my first impression made the whole thing feel like a Dear Jane letter. My friends got that blow off feeling too. Anyway, that was 3 months ago and I never heard another thing from him. I've learned a lot about myself and him actually (he has yet to go back to Iraq which leads me to believe it was a line and his way out!). I truly was not happy in the relationship. It wasn't at break up stage but did need some work, which he apparently was not willing to do. I too thought the pain would just kill me. I cried every day for most of the 3 months. I had frequent anxiety attacks and a constant feeling of despair. Like life just could not possibly go on. This was not the first time I've been dumped but it has definitely been the hardest to get over. I just turned 36 and my ex had been talking about "our kids" and basically indicating our future together. I grieve the future he had put in my head. We had just been looking at houses the week prior to his disappearance!
Anyway, everyone here has been great and told me things would get better as time passed. To be honest, I didn't believe them. In some ways, I think I actually was holding on to the pain (why, I have no idea!). Maybe because it was something still connecting me to "him." But it has gotten better. Not yet perfect--I still have days where I feel like its just not worth it to try again, and still have days of great sorrow and pain (but its never about wanting him back anymore I can say! I'd never do that at this point!!! YAY for me!). I've been out on a few dates with different guys but thinking of taking a break because the smallest thing now turns me off and I stop talking to them. It is very hard to let go of someone you care so deeply for but now that I can see more clearly, I can say it truly does get easier. Feel it, acknowledge it and then before you know it, it you will be okay.
Hi all,
Just wanted to say thank you to those who responded to my post. I'm sorry to hear that you too have been through the same thing. I wish you all happiness and good luck in love in the future.
xxx