Dumped

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Dumped
3
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 8:49am
Hi Everyone,

Im only new here but need some help. My boyfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me last week out of the blue. My heart is so broke i doint know what to do. I havent heard from him in over a week.Juts a message to say someone will collecthis stuff (but they never did) He didnt even call to say it was over, just got a text. I dont know what to do. He was my whole life. I did everything for him and maybe too much. I gave up everything for him and now imleft with nothing. I dont only lose him i lose his family too like his little brothers who i was very fond of. I got a call form his grandmother to see how I was. She said the kids were asking for me. I dont wanna contact him but its veryhard. he wouldnt answer my call or messgaes the first few days. He sayd he just wants to do his own thing..

Is there any way i could get him back. Im very confussed about all of this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
In reply to: gmurray2004
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 7:26pm
I know it’s hard, but do not call him nor contact him at all. Instead build your own life without him. He may or may not come back, but there is nothing you can say or do to change his mind. If you contact him, it will only push him away further. If you beg him to come back, he will only be mean and hurtful and will stop respecting you.

Do the things you like, and try something new you never did before. Eventually you will find that you won’t think about him as much, the tears will dry for the most part, and you will be all right. You will have better and worse days, but it will get much better once you start concentrating on only you. Be a little selfish, this is the time for it. He left and he is thinking about himself only, so go ahead and get to know yourself, your likes and dislikes.

Maybe he will come around once he realizes that he left behind such a wonderful and independent person as you, but if he won’t then you will emerge as a stronger person after this and people will notice this and will want to get to know you. If he won’t come back, you don’t need him anyway, b/c he does not deserve to be with a gem like you, if he can’t appreciate your value. Eat, exercise, read, watch TV, listen to music, and do whatever else you enjoy doing, or ever wanted to try and learn to do. Take care of yourself and it will all fall into place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: gmurray2004
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 8:41pm
Welcome to the board!! I'm sorry you're going through all this. I know how bad break-ups can be especially when it isn't a face to face breakup and you have to reason why it's ending. My last ex broke up with me via e-mail so I know how you feel and he didn't give me any solid reasons until much later and even those weren't very good reasons. I don't think you should sit around and try to devise ways to get him back because those usually lead to trouble and the feelings fueling those thoughts will subside. Just try and stay busy...go for long walk, hang out with friends, take up a new hobby....anything to keep busy. Good luck and keep us posted!!











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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
In reply to: gmurray2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 1:38am
Sorry for your pain, and sorry to add more but...don't overlook the fact that your boyfriend is likely involved with someone else. I doubt he suddenly broke off a three-year relationship just to gain a night of pool with the boys. Do you really want to figure out a way to get back a guy who's cheating on you...or at least contemplating it? Everyone needs space now and then, but before you go groveling be sure you've gathered all the facts so you know what exactly you're trying to get back in your life. Read "He's Scared, She's Scared" before you make any major moves toward reconcilliation. In the meantime, NO contact and take care of yourself...you will heal, though it doesn't seem like it now. Hurting with you for the same reasons....good luck.