Dumped after 11 months

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Dumped after 11 months
2
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 9:40am
I have been dating a man I worked with for 11 months. I am looking for someone to settle down with and he tells me that he doesn't know that he EVER wants to be married again. We are in the same book, but on different pages. My kids are really love him. I really love his kids. I really love him. He tells me that he loves me, but that he can't be with me anymore because he can't commit. I can do nothing but cry. It's feels as if I can barely breath. We were so perfect together, why couldn't I have just been happy with a forever boyfriend? Why do I want more? Why if he really loved me and I know he does couldn't he give me more?
I don't want to be alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 11:28am

mirrorme...

Simple explanation from Pianoguy:

In order to have a marriage or even an FWB situation, 2 people have to be serious about relinquishing "singlehood" in favor of togetherness! You're ready...but he's not!

Doesn't matter if you love his children or if your children love him...he's remembering a past bad experience...and is afraid a similar situation will occur?

That leaves you with accepting the relationship the 2 of you have (which is more like a solid friendship) according to his desires...or seeking out somebody else who eventually wants a solid marriage and a family? Most women who don't wish to be alone eventually find somebody? But if your heart is set on this one man...you're gonna have to STRONGLY CONVINCE HIM that he's not going to go through another bad life experience if he decides to try marriage again?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 1:08pm

hi mirrorme

i'm sorry you feel this way. everybody dont want to be alone. but sometimes in life the one that we really want we cannot get it. isn't is too unfair. well i'm just like you i just dont understand life at all. BUT ACTUALLY WHAT I DO NOW IS LEAVE EVERYTHING TO GOD AND I KNOW HIS THERE FOR ME. IF HE WANTS ME TO LET GO OF SOMEONE MAYBE BCOZ THEIR IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT IS MEANT FOR ME. (WELL THE PROBLEM HIS TAKING TOO LONG TO COME hehehehehe.)

WELL I GUESS I NEED TO BE PATIENCE AND SAME TO YOU ALSO. WE NEVER KNOW MAYBE TOMORROW MR. RIGHT IS KNOCKING OUR DOOR. RIGHT

GOOD LUCK