Dying Inside of Sadness

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Dying Inside of Sadness
12
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 3:43pm
Hi all. I read some other people's posts and appreciated how everyone supports eachother with advice. I figured it couldn't hurt to tell my story and would love to hear back from anyone who wants to share!

I had been in a 6yr relationship with the man I beleive I would marry. It was an intense and loving relationship, and I looked forward to spending the rest of my life with him. He was a ladies man and quite the bachelor before we dated and I was the only woman he had ever committed to and truly loved. His friends and family would tell me they couldnt beleive how I had turned him into such a loving and compassionate boyfriend. We had the storybook romance, the kind everyone was envious of. We both so involved with eachothers families and friends our lives were completely intertwined. We had discussed getting engaged within the year, and were excited to finally really start our lives together.

I truly in a million years never thought we would ever break up. All I've ever known is my life with him.

It was a harsh breakup, the most unthinkable horrible kind. He left me with no explanation, not even a phone call. Its been 4 months and I havent heard from him or seen him. I have had to make up my own conclusions of what happened and why. He did this in the most cruel and unfair way, by never even giving me closure or a goodbye. I run things over and over in my head, trying to look for signs I may have missed. And all I see is the good, the happiness, and the love. I feel like my entire world has crumbled. On the outside I let the world think I am great & moving on, and ready to face the world. But at nite when I am alone, and nothing but the walls of my apt can hear me, I weep for hours and hours until the sun comes up. I cry to the point I think I am going to drown in my own tears. Without closure I feel I will never move on. However, being the strong independent woman than I am, I will never chase after him.

Has anyone been left in such a cruel manner? Anyone who can give me some advice or show me the light at the end of the tunnel?

thank you !

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 12:41pm
Thanks for the tip, Joe....I think that was good advice!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 1:33pm
I think I should have posted this here...

I had been in an eight year relationship with a 54 year-old man, living 90 miles away, with his mother. He is an ex-minister, who quit the ministry when his wife divorced him ten years ago. At that time he moved in with his mother to get his bills paid. It all made sense, so a relationship began. For the past five years he has spent every weekend and holiday at my home and went back to his mother’s to stay during the week. He bought me a $2000 engagement ring about a year ago and said even when we married he would continue to live during the week with his mother because it was close to his work. There are many people from here that carpool to where he works but he said he could never do that.

His mother is 84 years old and has his dinner ready when he gets home, does his laundry and even buys his underwear. He provides no support for the home, just spends his money on himself and at auctions collecting junk. Seven weeks ago he called me on Thursday night, the night he usually gets here and told me he wanted to come get his things. He said he saw the big picture and it would never work out so he wanted to end it. In just the past year he had painted my whole house, the garage floor, and bought a big screen television. The weekend before he called he had been squeezing me so hard I could barely breathe, telling me how much he loved me.

This man called me on his way to work every single morning for the past eight years. He called as soon as he got home from work, and then before he went to bed. This was relationship where I had met his entire family and saw them countless time and visa versa. How could he do this? And over the phone? I am confused and heartbroken, but I will not call him. He said not to make it harder than it was and I refuse to let him know how much I am hurting. I made a big enough fool out of myself when he told me he wanted to come get his things. I had heard not one word from him although he has driven right past my house to go to Auctions that were down the street. I have heard his mama bought him a big barnwith a small house beside it, in which to keep his junk, 15 miles from my city. Why when he lives 90 miles away with her? This makes no sense to me. I have been through a few breakups and a divorce but this is the strangest thing I have ever heard of.

I am hoping someone can see something here that continues to elude me.

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