Emotionless Monster

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2012
Emotionless Monster
5
Sat, 04-06-2013 - 7:18pm

What does that mean? I guess men lack the ability to maybe express themselves and sometimes it can appear that they have no emotions. He said I'm not an emotionless monster. I know men don't wear their feelings on their sleeve like women do but what does that mean? We had been seeing each other for almost a year  just less than a month ago he didn't want me to leave his life. We had become closer spending more time together, being each others confidante and now fast forward now breaking up. Emotions are high things said out of anger then apologies etc. not contacting then contacting. I did let into him bad telling him he is hollow, no remorse, conscious character flaw and more. He says I'm not an emotional monster. He still wants for some reason help with things around my house and don't know with.  His life I pin shambles right now shoes looking for an easy route out to get him back on track. There is someone that will help him finance his business so there it is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 9:52am

I don't know if I understand what you're asking.  It sounds to me like there's a communication breakdown between the two of you.  I don't think it's fair to paint all men as emotionless.  Did he tell you he's not happy in the relationship anymore?

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 1:39pm

brieat32 wrote:
<p>What does that mean? I guess men lack the ability to maybe express themselves and sometimes it can appear that they have no emotions. He said I'm not an emotionless monster. I know men don't wear their feelings on their sleeve like women do but what does that mean? We had been seeing each other for almost a year  just less than a month ago he didn't want me to leave his life. We had become closer spending more time together, being each others confidante and now fast forward now breaking up. Emotions are high things said out of anger then apologies etc. not contacting then contacting. I did let into him bad telling him he is hollow, no remorse, conscious character flaw and more. He says I'm not an emotional monster. He still wants for some reason help with things around my house and don't know with.  </p>

No, not all men are incapable of expressing themselves or appear to have no emotions, just like not all women are verbose and emote on demand.  Not all women wear their feelings on their sleeve.  Please get out of the habit of using broad-brushed generalizations. The person you happened to draw to you is that way, but he is in no way indicative or representative of every man on the planet.

Sometimes, relationships just reach their end for a myriad of reasons.  It could be that too much emotion, too much anger, one word too many slams the lid down.  Each person has their saturation point---some reach theirs faster than others.  Some will try to work through issues until the proverbial "straw that breaks the camel's back" lands and they cannot go one step further. 

Him not wanting to be subjected to something he may feel is not working out is not him being an emotional monster. Every human has a right to self preservation and if it means that a relationship has to end in order for them to preserve themselves, then that's what's going to happen.

Quote:
His life I pin shambles right now shoes looking for an easy route out to get him back on track. There is someone that will help him finance his business so there it is.

This makes no sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2012
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 7:26pm
iPhones always change words I meant his life is in shambles and he is looking for an easy way out. He wants someone to take care if him while he's in school and help him to start a business and someone has offered to do that so in my opinion you are shallow. Relationships are about working together and striving together. He states this person Cynthia ten year plan of being a business owner into right now so take the leap.. Everything you work for is what you get nothing is handed freely, but he'll have to realize that. My job is where I am and my home. Be willing to work together. He's living with his mom, a daughter with mental issues, just retired from the military and that is not his normal way of living. He likes status and any way he can get it he will take it. He doesn't care about feelings but rather who is going to help him
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2012
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 7:28pm
No he said he is not an emotionless monster. iPhones always change words I meant his life is in shambles and he is looking for an easy way out. He wants someone to take care if him while he's in school and help him to start a business and someone has offered to do that so in my opinion you are shallow. Relationships are about working together and striving together. He states this person Cynthia ten year plan of being a business owner into right now so take the leap.. Everything you work for is what you get nothing is handed freely, but he'll have to realize that. My job is where I am and my home. Be willing to work together. He's living with his mom, a daughter with mental issues, just retired from the military and that is not his normal way of living. He likes status and any way he can get it he will take it. He doesn't care about feelings but rather who is going to help him
Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Wed, 04-10-2013 - 1:06pm

Quote:
iPhones always change words I meant his life is in shambles and he is looking for an easy way out. He wants someone to take care if him while he's in school and help him to start a business and someone has offered to do that so in my opinion you are shallow. Relationships are about working together and striving together. He states this person Cynthia ten year plan of being a business owner into right now so take the leap.. Everything you work for is what you get nothing is handed freely, but he'll have to realize that. My job is where I am and my home. Be willing to work together. He's living with his mom, a daughter with mental issues, just retired from the military and that is not his normal way of living. He likes status and any way he can get it he will take it. He doesn't care about feelings but rather who is going to help him
Or he sees someone who is willing to go along with his life's program and he's going to gravitate towards her. If she is willing to help him out, tolerate his living situation and his obligations to his family and his idiocyncrasies then he's going to take the path of least resistance to get to where he wants to be in his life. From what you've written, you don't appear to want to supply that for him, so he's going to bounce. You two have different ideas on where each of you wants to be in your lives and how each of you wants/intends on getting there. Perhaps the incompatibility issues are now surfacing in earnest and this really wasn't a relationship that was meant to be or to go the distance. It may just have been a weigh station or learning lesson for each of you before you moved on to other things in your lives.