Ending a long term relationship easier
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Ending a long term relationship easier
| Thu, 11-11-2004 - 2:30pm |
I am currently living with my boyfriend of 9 years - high school sweethearts. I am 24 years old and so is he. I want out of this relationship, and I don’t know how to go about ending it. I was his first love, but more importantly though, his one and only serious relationship. He is a wonderful person and my intentions are not to hurt him. Although being together this long, I think this will inevitable. I want to make this as easiest as possible.
I would like to mention that he has never been emotionally or physically abusive. But for other reasons, I no longer wish to be with him. Over the last couple years, my love for him is more so like a friend love than anything else. The sex has been very strained and infrequent on my part. He still seems very much in love with me and the fact that I have been feeling like this for a long time I know will surely kill him.
I want to discover what is out there. Meet new people. Maybe even move to another state. I cannot foresee myself spending the rest of my life with him. I am unhappy and feel empty inside. I don't want THIS to be it. I crave to rediscover myself and to become centered.
To make matters worse, I am horrible at dealing with confrontation. I am unsure of the best way to do this. I know inside that I owe him the respect of doing this face to face. But I'm not sure I can do this.
Would it be to cruel to take all of my belongs out while he is away on vacation and leave a note? What if I were to invite a friend for moral support, but have her wait some where else in the house while I break the news? It is just so difficult because of how long we’ve been together and the fact that we live together. I guess this could be compared to a divorce almost…
I've never posted to a message board before, so this is all new to me. I am looking for any suggestions, feedback, etc as to how I should proceed. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
I would like to mention that he has never been emotionally or physically abusive. But for other reasons, I no longer wish to be with him. Over the last couple years, my love for him is more so like a friend love than anything else. The sex has been very strained and infrequent on my part. He still seems very much in love with me and the fact that I have been feeling like this for a long time I know will surely kill him.
I want to discover what is out there. Meet new people. Maybe even move to another state. I cannot foresee myself spending the rest of my life with him. I am unhappy and feel empty inside. I don't want THIS to be it. I crave to rediscover myself and to become centered.
To make matters worse, I am horrible at dealing with confrontation. I am unsure of the best way to do this. I know inside that I owe him the respect of doing this face to face. But I'm not sure I can do this.
Would it be to cruel to take all of my belongs out while he is away on vacation and leave a note? What if I were to invite a friend for moral support, but have her wait some where else in the house while I break the news? It is just so difficult because of how long we’ve been together and the fact that we live together. I guess this could be compared to a divorce almost…
I've never posted to a message board before, so this is all new to me. I am looking for any suggestions, feedback, etc as to how I should proceed. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

I wish you all the best on you path of self-discovery.
Carrie
I've been on the receiving end of this conversation. At first I was really hurt, but after a little time I came to the realization that I wasn't happy either. I'm making plans for myself for the first time in my life and loving it.
Good luck.