Erased from life....why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Erased from life....why?
5
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 5:08pm

Ok, I'm sure all of you are aware of my break up recently and the troubles I've endured with it...

But I just checked my facebook account (it's like a website for college students to view pictures and etc.) and my ex de-tagged all of our pictures together (got rid of them), and trust me there were alot.

Like I also said before, she also blocked me on AOL Messenger. She's the one who cheated on me, and left me for another guy.

She said to other people a little while ago that she "wanted to be my friend," and that it was "up to me" to be hers. She's lied to friends about how she's had sex with this guy already, and had lied to me multiple times during our breakup (multiple = ALOT of lies), but it's just so evil to come off as the nice one and say you want to be friends and then act like this behind the scenes. Someone who has any idea please explain this to me, what gives?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 5:43pm

Zoey,


People lie for many reasons - saving face, saving embarassment, not owning up to one's feelings, wanting to be seen in a 'better' light. You won't figure her out.


Edited to add:


PS the photos are down, because she's seeing someone else. How do you think the new guy would feel if she still had them tagged?




Edited 3/7/2007 5:48 pm ET by cl-itwinflame
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 12:04am

I have tried somewhat unsuccessfully to erase my ex from my life. I had deleted his number from my phone. I had him call me the other day because I had to ask him a question about something I heard about him.

Today I got scared when the tornado sirens went off, he was always the person I turned to when I wasn't sure what to do. I am not from an area with snow and tornadoes and helped me cope with the snow so it was sort of an automatic thing to call him. I had him in my recent calls on my phone and called him. I know I shouldn't have but I don't feel that bad about it. I did just erase my recent incoming/outgoing calls and text messages so I don't have his number anymore now.

I also removed him from my facebook friends because I didn't want to see photos of him with his new girlfriend.

My only guess is that she is doing the same thing, purging you from her life. I know it is hard to think about. I can understand your sadness and frustration.

It could be hard for her to look at the photos of you two together even though she ended it. This is just pure guesses though since none of us can really get in her head and understand what she is thinking.

I am starting over on my quest for no contact. It will be easier after tomorrow since I am leaving Saturday for a trip and will be gone until the 14th. I do have to see him tomorrow in class. I don't know if he will try and talk to me. It is also his birthday. I am hoping to get out of class before he does and not have to deal with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 6:29am

I see where you are coming from. However, it's not like she just ended it, she cheated on me, and left me for this guy, and said she "wanted to be my friend", and still "loved me" (as a friend i'm guessing).

i don't think it's because her new boyfriend told her to delete the pictures, because he doesn't even have a facebook account. this whole thing does not add up, it's as if she's trying to completely start a new life (she also gave up mutual friends we had, and coming over to my place which she did on most weekdays and every weekend). it's very odd behavior.

but that's ok, karma's a (you know what)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 9:31am

Zoey, Have you heard the Justin Timberlake song "What goes around comes around"? I heard it the other night and thought of your situation.

For anyone unfamilar with it.

Lyrics - http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/justintimberlake/whatgoesaroundcomesaroundinterlude.html

Video - http://www.justintimberlake.com/QuickTime/justintimberlake_WGAvideo.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 5:18pm

i've come to the conclusion (finally, right?) that i'm gonna move on.

i know (almost for a fact) that one day she'll come around and realize the error of her ways (you know, cheating on me the love of her life and her first love, and then lying to me about everything and then deleting me from her life), but until then i'm gonna be me and work on myself.

not that i'll take her back, because i've come to the conclusion her actions are forgivable (my family has also stated that they hate her forever, and they don't throw around the word hate like that ever), but i'm just gonna talk to her. she at least owed me an explanation for everything, and would not even want to talk about it! AHHHHHH ok i'll stop.

but yeah when that day comes (i feel its inevitible) i'm going to have a long talk and get things off my chest. it will feel great because there is alot unsaid right now.

what goes around goes around goes around etc etc




Edited 3/8/2007 7:57 pm ET by zoey15k