Erg

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Erg
2
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 9:08pm

Hi there,

Here's my current dilemna....my ex, who I dated for 4 years, and we've been broken up for 2 1/2 months after he cheated...well he is messing with my mind again. I tried the NC thing for a while, but it never really worked. I even started hanging out with this new guy of interest...but I'm taking that super slow...don't exactly want a relationship at the moment. Anyways, last week, my ex was away on vacation. To my surprise, he calls me at 8 am before heading out for his trip to let me know and to tell me to have a good week. It was a hard week for me...I tried to get my mind off of him...but images of him hooking up w/random chicks on the island he was visiting popped into my mind often. Anyways, he got back this past Sunday and left me a message on Monday...telling me that he got back safely, and that HE Missed Me...and then he goes on to tell me that he will call later that night. I was irked....and yes, he did not call later that night, or the next day or today. I think he is doing all of this on purpose...just to keep me on my toes. It's so annoying. I'm trying really hard to be strong and move forward...in general it's going OK. However, right now I'm a bit bummed. Tonight, I tried to call him back...but it went to voicemail and I did not leave a message. Why is it when I take a few steps forward...I always end up backtracking. And why did he tell me that he missed me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: chefind
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 12:36am
He calls and tells you these things....to keep you hanging on...and it's working. He will do these things as long as you allow him to. If it was me and my guy cheated on me...that'd be it....I would be so upset I wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore. Why didn't the NC work? If you're allowing him to get to you like this....I'd give it another shot. I'd tell him I don't want to be contacted anymore and if he tried I'd have his number blocked or change my number and get it unlisted. But that's just me. No matter what you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck!!











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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
In reply to: chefind
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 3:38am
O.K. enough's enough. Time to REALLY do the NO CONTACT bit and stop letting him jerk you around. Are you really still looking forward to a lifetime with a man who slept with other women/woman behind your back, lied, deceived etc after a four year relationship? What makes you think he didn't do it repeatedly during those four years? Cheaters often go unnoticed for YEARS! Do you WANT to re-unite with a man who you will constantly wonder if he's deceiving you again? YES!, he is sleeping with other women on his vacation, don't doubt that for a second (hmmm, why weren't you invited...seems awfully convenient for him). Feel good about that? Want to kiss his lips while images of where and who they've been on play through your mind? Is that the best you think you deserve? No way! This relationship is DOA...Dead On Arrival (with another woman in tow). Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Do yourself a huge favor and go to the library or bookstore TODAY and get "He's Scared, She's Scared" and "Why Men Love Bitches." I'm going through the same...caught my live-in boyfriend of 2 1/2 years cheating. I'm at three months no contact now. Still have horrible days, but they are fewer and farther between. Most of all, I like myself more for taking back my self-respect and for not tolerating being stabbed in the back repeatedly. You can do it too, IF you want that for yourself more than you want to beat a dead horse. Good Luck...