Ex Best Friend dating Ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Ex Best Friend dating Ex
5
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 4:48pm
Some of you might have read my other emails but it happened, My best friend (as of today no longer my friend) is dating my ex. We broke up over a year ago but I'm stupidly still in love with him and she knew it but she said she can't fight her feelings. How do I go on now that I have lost my best friend? I feel so alone. We work together so I have to see her everyday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 11:04am
I'm so sorry to hear this, that's a terrible thing for a friend to do! I would never date a friend's ex, especially knowing she still has feelings for him. I'm so sorry--I know you probably don't think this right now, but it's for the best that both of these people are out of your life. It sounds like neither of them has enough respect for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 5:34pm
It's just so hard because not only was she my best friend she was really the only friend I had. I never had friends in high school or growing up and she meant everything to me. I just don;t know how she could betray me in this way. And that her feelings for him are stronger than her feelings of friendship for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2005
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 7:03pm

as difficult as things may be right now, you just have to be the bigger person in this situation....... i KNOW its soooooooo hard....... i was in a similar situation some years back....... i was seriously seeing a guy and then he slowly started acting more and more distant..... we had a talk about us and i told him i wanted to be exclusive....... he seemed pretty warm to the idea and then i didnt hear from him for a few days..... then i saw him at a party hanging out with another girl all night and trying to hide it.... i spoke to him afterwards and he said she meant nothing and woulnt leave him alone and he let me borrow his hat (which i really liked).... then i didnt hear from him for a few days and i saw him at another party hanging out with her all ngiht...... i almost punched him out..... i felt so played!! all my friends were there, i just took off his hat and gave it to him... and by the end of the night the girl was wearing it!!!!!!!! i felt so hurt and wanted to cry right then and there.... on the way home from the party, i spent the whole train ride with my friend crying my eyes out..... i was soooooo hurt for a few months and never thought i'd be happy again....... as it turns out, afterwards, me and his girlfriend became friends...... not great friends, but friends that could chat online and say hello when we ran into each other..... recently she told me that he cheated on her and dumped her for someone else........ as sad as that is (they were togeter for 4 years but we only dated 8 months) it felt good to know that it wasnt me...... it was him..... he was a jerk....

the moral of the story is that time heals all wounds..... and i'm actually going through a breakup right now too so its theraputic to discuss this....... but time really will heal you...... one day you will look back on this and think that those 2 people are messed up and deserve each other.... and you know what, karma always comes back to all...... if they are capable of doing something like to you then they really aren't quality people..... right now my advice is to just surround yourself with positive things, goto the gym, be healthy, go shopping, take a vacation...... i know you just wanna sit home and be miserable (i have to constantly fight that urge as i move on).... but just try to keep busy....... bc time will pass and you will be OK again




Edited 5/2/2005 3:54 pm ET ET by golucky212
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
Sun, 05-01-2005 - 9:30pm
Thanks for your reply. I've tried not moping around and I started eating again. It just hurts because he was my first and only boyfriend and he will be her first boyfriend too. I know they had a date over the weekend and I have to work with her Monday. I have given up on her. After my breakup with him she basically told me to get over it and was not supportive at all. She's not an emotional person so I gave her the benifit of the doubt. She always said best friends don't go after their friends ex and yet she did it knowing I still had feelings for him. I'm trying to get involved in my church and hopefully meet better people than my ex best friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 9:57pm
(((HUGS)))
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