Ex Bf not letting me move on !
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| Fri, 02-15-2008 - 2:03pm |
Me and my bf broke up 6 months ago.my ex is not letting me move on.He calls just to say hi after every 2 weeks, even though we agreed on NC, no trying to be friends etc.between these calls, his friends drop a word or two in my ear about where his life is at.sometimes i let his call go into VM. whenever i try to forget him and move on with my life, either he or his friends pop up from no where!
Recently i started talking to a new guy i met at a party where one of our ( me and ex's) mutual friend was also present and there it is ! my ex calls me at dawn , saying ,how are you? i understand that he is having a hard time breaking up but our R was over.we both realized and accepted.Now he is not letting me forget him.What should i do?
I have tried cutting off from his friends , changed my phone nos., keep coversations short , but he doesnt seem to stop.
how should i make him stop from making me move on??

Welcome to the board rosycheeks2007,
You sometimes let the call go to voicemail?
It's not just the ex that isn't moving on, it's you too. You may not agree with me, and that's understandable because I'm the one "seeing" your behavior from the outside, not you. He calls, *you* pick up. He texts, *you* read instead of delete without reading. He continues, when was the last tme *you* said, "You must stop calling me?" and blocked his number from your phone? In every situation where there is minimal yet unwanted contact that isn't as serious as stalking, there are always TWO people contributing.
I'm curious: You changed your phone number, but how did he get it again?
Most often, though, stuff like this is allowed to go on because a person is unwilling to be unkind or even worse, *be thought of* as not a nice person. If that's the situation, drop that thought quick, because being nice does not mean that you get your life trampled on in return, or that you must sacrifice your own contentment just so someone else won't think of you badly. Those people are people-pleasers, they end up training themselves to give too much and end up getting very little in return, building resentment until it's no longer manageable and then they're left wondering what happened when it was self-inflicted from the get-go. Don't turn into that.
So, tell him one last time you need for him to stop calling or texting. That you've gone as far as you're willing to and won't continue. And then you do everything in your power, even if it seems cold, to block him from contacting you. Block his number from your phone, block his email. Just doing that alone should be enough to make a dramatic improvement. If you don't do it, though, remember what I said about how we contribute to the situations in our lives.
Good luck,
right again sandradee.
I have to say that it was really tough for me to be "mean" to my ex, and tell him no more "i love you's" no more "i miss you". I reminded him why we broke up and why we need to move on. It was direct, cold, and it broke my heart. But, I kept to my word on this.