Ex-bf slept with an ex-best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Ex-bf slept with an ex-best friend
3
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 1:13am

I now know why my ex-boyfriend wouldn't even consider getting back together with me after 4 years of being together. Practically the next day after breaking up with me he had sex with my ex-best friend (of 3 years), who's married by the way, but somehow in an open relationship with her husband (part of the reason our friendship ended because I didn't agree with her lifestyle). She and I had dissolved our friendship some months prior and she had told him that I cheated on him (after we weren't friends anymore), which is a lie. That was the major event in things coming to an end quickly.

Things were difficult between us before because he was finally getting away from his controlling family and we were fighting a lot about making life decisions about moving away and marriage and after my friendship with her ended, he began talking with her more and then she told him that. Anyhow, I just found out because she called me. I thought she called to talk about the lie she said, but she said she wanted to "confess" what she did. She told me that they had been sleeping together after we broke up (for about 2-3 weeks) and he told her that he loved her and that all of a sudden he just stopped talking to her and cut his phone off and that she also went to his place, saw his car there and rang the door bell and has not responded to her at all. I believe now that she called me to see if I had contact with him and to find a way to get in touch with him. (I haven't talked to him since I finally decided to let him go 2 weeks after the break up). She said she fell for him after they had sex so much that she even possibly thought of divorcing her husband! She told me how he still talked about loving me, bunch of bull. He hadn't told his parents about our break up so I thought we had a chance.

By the way, now she's saying she wants to renew the friendship. I honestly thank God for giving me the strength to get through that conversation and even being calm enough to give her advice on the situation! I don't feel like I could renew any sort of friendship with her, because the trust at this point it's completely lost. She and I are "meeting" tomorrow to talk in person; we'll see how that goes. I ultimately have to find my own closure, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk to her and tell her how I fully feel.

It's funny, we had broken up a couple of times before for other reasons such as distance (we lived a 16 hour drive away from each other and I just recently moved to where he was to be closer) and his controlling father and we would always make up. This time, he said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me, but wanted to wait until I came back from visiting home to discuss it he and wouldn't let me kiss him, he would hug me or hold me, but not let me kiss him, I now know why...

I never imagined I would be in a "Jerry Springer" like situation lol. I must admit, I'm still in a lot of shock and it's pretty hard to sleep. However, I'm glad I found out now and not anytime sooner because I'm not sure how to handle it. I've been finally coming to terms with the end of our relationship (we haven't been talking) because I've been taking care of myself more and getting closer to the Lord, which is what is helping me keep my sanity now.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and any tips/advice you could provide would be greatly appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 11:08am

tempestc83...

Pianoguy has very little to add EXCEPT for the fact that your former b/f will no doubt find someone "new" to sleep with...the moment he gets tired of 'sleeping with the former g/f!'

You have every right to "choose your own lifestyle!" But whether others embrace it or not, is up to them!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 12:22pm
Like attracts like and he's friends with her. For the life of me, I do not understand why you are meeting her. You don't trust her. She slept with your ex. She's spread rumors about you and now she wants to be your friend (maybe to mainpulate you) and you are wiling to meet with her? Choose your friendships wisely.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 2:19pm

your friend definitely got karma for what see did to you....now i'm assuming she felt so bad...thats why she confess to you....ofcourse she will OBVIOULSY CUZ SHE'S GIVING YOU A REASON NOT TO GO BACK FOR YOUR EXBF....DO YOU KNOW WHY???? CUZ SHE WANTS HIM...

this also happen to me with my exbf(my fIRSTs love) his new gf for some reason always calling me...i dont even know her...everytime if my exbf is not with her she will call me and look for him....what jerk right?? and the worst part...she will talk shiiit about him...that his beating her up....well actually thats the reason thats why i end my relationship w/him...actually he ONLY push me and thats it....AND I BROKE UP W/HIM...

after all those craft of him to her she still stay w/him.....well now i know why she's telling me all those craft cuz like your friend...their giving us reason not to go back with them...right?? are you getting my point...even our ex begs us ofcourse we dont trust them any more cuz what they did...too much drama...

anyways you dont deserved them both...dont let her be part of your life again....you dont have to see her or anything..she just doing that cuz she just wanna make sure..his not with you...ofcourse if your exbf find's out that you guys are friend again....YOU WILL GIVE HIM REASON TO STAY AWAY FROM BOTH OF YOU...RIGHT??

GOOD LUCK




Edited 1/5/2007 2:37 pm ET by jhony2006