Ex boyfriend wants to be "friends"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Ex boyfriend wants to be "friends"
13
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 1:54pm

hi -


I'm new here and fairly newly heartbroken, dumped almost a month ago by a man I had a 3 month rel'ship with.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 2:23pm

I think it makes sense to be clear with him that you are not interested in being friends with him right now because you are still interested in him romantically.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 2:34pm

Thanks for your reply Sheri!


I don't know, I don't think I want to let him know I'm still interested in him romantically.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 3:01pm

I believe that being upfront gets you the best chance of the result you want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 7:34pm

Welcome to the board rapunzel07,


You might find this thread interesting:


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=23571.1&x=y


Susanna gives great advice.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 9:53am

Thanks Carrie, for sending me that link.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 11:11am

OK, so I'm back with more questions.


Wondering if anyone has gotten together with the ex just about a month or so after he broke it off, to "hang out and chat".

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 5:10pm

I think it depends on your personal threshhold for pain and how much of a masochist you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 1:11am

Hey, rapunzel07!


I'm sorry about what you're going through. I also believe that honesty is the way to go. If you can't be truthful with someone, then it's probably not a solid relationship anyway. I imagine it's hard to see him when you work together, though. I too am 46, my ex recently broke up with me. You'll be okay, it just takes awhile. Look into your heart and find out what makes you happy, whether you have someone in your life or not.


You were wondering, if you pass up the opportunity, will another one come? As long as you're honest with him....he'll know what your feelings are, and you'll know his. Guessing games take up so much energy! Don't think of it as an opportunity to get back together. Think of it as a chance to clear the air and then move on if necessary.


Take care of yourself and keep us posted on how you're doing, 'cause we care!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 12:49pm

Thanks Sheri...and Shanoose...for your thoughts.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 1:03pm

Most likely, you're never going to know the "why" of it, so it's a waste of your time and energy to try to come up with the possible reasons.

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