Ex Called. No Criticism Please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Ex Called. No Criticism Please!
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:22pm
Hi everyone!!! Been missing for a few weeks. Had a lot of stuff going on. This post is a real long one, and I really would rather hear good things, no negative criticism.

Anyway, DH and I were out all day on Saturday and came home around 9pm. About 10 minutes after we walked through the door, the phone rang with a 631 area code (NY, where I'm from). It looked like my dad's number, but was a little off on the digits, so I knew it wasn't him. DH let me answer, because he knows any calls from NY ARE for me anyway. Well, I answered and it was my ex, wanting to know if I was busy or if I was able to talk. Told him I was busy (I was---we had just gotten our 2nd guinea pig and we were trying to get it settled in); he said he'd call back in about 1/2 hour. Never called back that night. He called the next night to see if I could talk; since I wasn't busy, I said fine (he had made it sound like it was something serious--it wasn't really). He called to say he felt bad about being so harsh to me the last time we spoke to each other (back in July--if you read my post from the end of August, you'll see what happened). He had said "good-bye" to me for good then; now he's changed his mind. Seems like he wants to be friends...and if I ever made it back to NY, maybe more. I don't know. He invited me out to dinner as a platonic friendly thing when I have to go back up home to settle this lawsuit that I'm in right now (a stupid 5 mph accident and the guy is making it sound like I broke his body!! LOL). DH said he won't prevent me from being friends with the ex, but he feels if I see him, I'll want to stay in NY for good.

DH is in the Air Force, stationed in Maryland. I moved down here to be with him and we got married, etc. I've been living down here 6 months (tomorrow will be 6 months actually) and I'm just soooo not happy here. I just really want to go back home. I was so much happier in NY; I also see that I was much happier with the ex. I sometimes wonder if I just lusted my DH. He is nothing like my ex. I need lots of affection and communication, and that's just NOT DH's way. I miss my ex, I miss NY, I miss my LIFE!!!! Whenever I go back up to NY for a visit, I always leave crying my eyes out. I have all the love and communication I want there. I don't know if it's the way DH was brought up or not. It's just not me though!! I have something that I'm totally used to and now I don't have that anymore. I was FIRST and foremost in my ex's life. I know I'm first in my DH's eyes, but it NEVER feels that way. I feel like I'm just here to be a wife--cook, clean, do laundry, and be the once or twice a week sex partner (sorry to put it that way but that's how it feels to me). Don't tell me to talk to DH about my feelings; I've done that more times than I care to count anymore. Don't tell me to show him what I want--THAT has gotten me nowhere as well.

Found out today DH's rotation is coming up at work and he may be getting deployed in January (no idea to where or how long as of yet). It's terrible of me I know, but I can't help to be the slightest bit happy knowing I can go back to my family for a good long stay. Of course, I'd miss him. He wants me to be happy and comfortable here, but yet I'm not. I just want to go back to NY sometimes. And hearing my ex's voice didn't help much. We ended up on the phone for over 2 hours the other nite just talking about little things. I can never have that type of convo with DH. It felt so good though. Didn't seem to bother DH that I was on the phone til after 2am; he was on the computer longer than I was on the phone (he spent all of last week being awake til after 1am every nite playing online poker--thank goodness it's not for real money (although Sat nite woulda been ok, he was up to winning $14 million!! lol).

I'm just really sick and tired of the way things are down here. I've tried changing, making myself busy, etc. I just don't wanna be here right now. DH was slammed in his last marriage (which only lasted 3 months). He DID get me flowers the other nite--I just wish he woulda waited til the next paycheck.. We don't have much left in our account.

Oh well, I'm done venting, etc for now. TIA to all who read my post and answer back. And if you have any negative criticism, please hold it back!! TIA again.....

Carolein

Proud Air Force Wife to Jason

05/14/04

> Lilypie Baby Ticker