Ex Calls 6 months later

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Ex Calls 6 months later
13
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 7:49pm
My ex boyfriend (we lived together for 5 years and were about to get engaged before he took off) called me six months after the breakup. I had never contacted him in the last six months and neither did he besides a couple of jokes he had forwarded to me via e-mail which I had never responded to. The call went something like this and left me puzzled: " I was driving by some of your favorite places and thought of you....How have you been?... Do you have a boyfriend?......I still want to be friends".
I told him I am really happy (not true, still depressed and can't get over him), that I am dating a couple of different guys (not true either- I am too depressed to date) and that I still don't want to be his friend because he treated me badly during the breakup (this is true, I don't want the friendship of such a selfish person).
What does this phone call mean? Is he looking to alleviate any guilt he is feeling because he totally led me on saying we are going to get married and then one day he snapped and said he would be happier if he was single? Is this another indication of a selfish person who wants to have his cake and eat it too? Has anyone on this board had an ex contact them months later? I miss him and I can't get over him but I don't want to start getting my hopes up with this phone call (it was 1 week ago).
Please help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 11:20pm

I don't think so. I think you took a chance, and it blew up in your face this time, but it doesn't mean that you should stop giving out second chances or stop hoping things sometimes turn out.

I mean, in your situation, I can't imagine I would have done anything differently. I've said enough times if he comes back crying he made a mistake, to hear him out. In any case, it's a good lesson for everyone on the board. I think we often sit around hoping our ex will come back crying for our forgiveness without wondering if we're just jumping off the same cliff as the first time.

cheers
Susanna




Edited 8/7/2007 1:17 pm ET by unicornssong
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 12:28pm

Susanna,

Thank you so much. I have been mentally beating myself up ever since this happened, and it helps me tremendously to hear your kind words of understanding. I still feel quite the fool, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that others likely would have done the same thing in my shoes.

I told him that if he truly loved me as he professed, he would not want to cause me any more pain, and I asked him to please never contact me again. I also lied and told him that someone wanted to date me (a fireman, no less!), and that I planned to go out with him now that I knew there was no hope of us reconciling. He started crying and I knew I had hit him where it hurt...so I did get some satisfaction from that. I just wish the fireman was more than a figment of my imagination. :)

Thanks again for what you said...it really means a lot.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 11:41am

Hi Kelly


Sorry to hear what happened.

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