Ex came back after I started dating
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|Tue, 09-21-2010 - 11:21pm|
I thought it was really over between my Ex and I. After a year of being mostly on the outs, I started dating someone else who I surprisingly grew very fond of. I've only this new guy about 15 times total but enough for there to be somewhat of a bond with potential for more.
Then I was thrown a curve ball when my Ex showed back up. At first I ignored his texts and calls over the last few days. Then the promises and heartfelt statements came pouring in and it started messing with my head. I decided to hear him out and he finally said a lot of the things I'd always wanted to hear and he actually seems like he means it as if he's grown mentally.
I am torn now. I feel stuck and don't know which direction to go in. What should I do immediately? Should I distance myself from both guys and take some time to myself? Would it be wrong to continue to date the new guy as long as I didn't take things further with him? (We are at the dating phase where things haven't gotten serious though sincere interest is there). I have no idea honestly what Ex is going to do. I'd like to think about seeing him again but not as "back together" but more like spending time, seeing if its sustainable to get back together.
I keep thinking of how I don't want to get hurt by anyone nor do I want to hurt anyone. My Mom told me when I was younger, don't put all of your eggs in one basket. I keep thinking of that phrase. I feel like I have the right as a single woman to entertain the idea or potential either way.
Another thing, this bothers me, my Ex told me a few times to start dating other people, and it upset me at the time very much. I finally did start dating others and he shows back up like this? I feel this is not fair to me to push and pull me like this. Which is why I ignored him for several days. When I finally replied it was basically to tell him to get lost and that I did move on.
I had really made concerted mental efforts to get to a new place in my life when I closed the book on the Ex. Now I just feel confused and I certainly don't want to disrupt the flow that I have going with the new guy. I'm confused though as to what I want or what I should do.
I do love my ex, I had invested so much time with my Ex, 3 years. We have a history, a lot of good times but obviously also bad times that lead to a breakup. The new guy, while I don't have a history with him yet, he has never hurt me in the ways the Ex has, it's a clean slate and he seems wonderful like he never would hurt me the way my Ex did. I really care for him too and could see myself if I focus straight on him developing something great with him, building a new history with a new guy.
I feel stuck... I shouldn't be experiencing this dilemma.