Ex contacted me...how do I handle this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Ex contacted me...how do I handle this?
6
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 8:54pm

My ex-bf broke up with me 11 wks. ago over a small misunderstanding that could have been resolved. Before last week, I haven't tried to call him, text him, etc. Then I get this text msg saying, "Hi!! How are you doing?" as if he were excited to hear from me. (Mind you this is the same person that said we should go our own way 11 wks. ago.)

So then, being the nice person that I am, I sent a msg back the following night asking if I could call him to which I got the reply, "No, I just wanted to see how you were doing." Hey...I figured if he sent me a msg, why not call instead of wasting my text msgs? Better yet, why didn't he call me to begin with? It's almost like he put the wall back between us when I got that msg.

If he really wanted us to go our separate ways, why did he contact me in the first place? I think it's because he felt like he still had access to me. I'm not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Steph :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 11:51pm

Ignore him the next time he contacts you. Being nice this time yielded nothing but some rude response. He has no business asking how you are.

Why he contacted you? I think you hit the nail right on the spot. Asking him to call you might be interpreted as "I'm still desperate to talk to you". Consider it an egostroke and move on.

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 12:18pm
I'm glad I finally hit the nail on the head this time around. I was doing just fine considering what he told me when he broke up with me. I was almost tempted to ask why he sent me that msg in the first place, but I ended up getting my answer anyway. Why do guys play these evil, conniving mind games? I don't get it! If I never heard from or saw him again, I was ok with that. It took me 8 wks. to get to that point. But next time I'll know what to do. Thanks for your insight. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 1:26pm

Welcome to the board skyqueen83,


You already got great advice, I just want to second it and add.... keep ignoring him. Just because he texts doesn't mean he wants to talk to you, hear from you or make it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:25pm

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I thought it was re-opening a door that was already closed, but then realized that I shouldn't have made anything of it. I don't think bad of him at all. I never really have. I'm along with you- if he really wanted to talk, he would have called me. I don't mind him being concerned or just wanting to touch base with me. I don't even mind that he cared enough to contact me.

But my thing is this: why would he be concerned about me considering the circumstances? At last check he did not want to continue to be friends, so I feel like he dragged this out a little more than he should have. I have not had any contact with him since early last week. I wish we can go back to at least being on friendly terms...after all, we did have a basis for a good friendship before this nonsense took place. Unfortunately I don't think that's going to happen. I'm perfectly ok with that. Thanks for your help!

Steph :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:28pm

Hi Steph,


We can make a lot of guesses as to why

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:48pm
You know what? I was just thinking the same thing! I've had them too, but learned not to act on them. It's only made me stronger, and I'm proud of myself for not acting on them. Thanks so much!