Extremely painful night

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Extremely painful night
5
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 12:02am

Hi everyone, just needed to share. It's been an awful evening. Today is day 16 of NC (round two) and I am sick as well (really bad cold, headache, generally feeling crappy). Anyway, today I took the little girl I nanny swimming which should have been fun, but unfortunately it is the same pool complex where the ex and I took his daughter swimming. I was okay while I was there but then completely lost it driving home from work and proceeded to eat a bunch of cookies (sigh..emotional eating) which of course felt good for about 2 seconds and now I feel even worse.

I just feel crazy. Like my emotions are never going to stabilize. I know this isn't true and that I just need to stick to NC and it will get better. Here is to day 17.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 12:15am

Just want to give you a cyber hug and say hang in there.


Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2006
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 2:42am

That's really brave of you to be able to go to the pool complex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 10:17am

Thanks ladies. :)

It's odd, but sometimes I need a reminder that I AM healing. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

I am proud that I didn't break down and contact him last night. Soon it will be 20 days!

-Rachel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 10:36am

you can do it. it takes courage to be able to go to the pool. baby steps each day. i am on day 6 of nc and it's painful having to drive near my work as he lives right near there.

every night is tough- you want to call, but think of it this way, you don't want to give him the satisfaction.

keep up the awesome job.

hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 1:09pm
Here's to Day 17 roo1983 - next time you have a bad day, emotional etc, journal write. Vent everything you feel on paper, it can help.