Fairy Tale Over?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Fairy Tale Over?
2
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 10:40am
This could be a long posting- I just found this site and figured why not try it? I am a fan of Sex & The City and I used to be a "Charlotte". Now I feel like a "Miranda". I am 26 and just broke up with my 40 year old boyfriend of three years a few days ago. Basically we were very happy and had a great relationship. Last August he bought me a ring, but decided he didn't like it and returned it. I went through this two more times. In Oct. we found a nice ring but he decided he needed to buy a home for us first. The next thing I knew it was January he had a new house and I was issuing an ultimatum- give me a ring or I am moving on. He promised a ring, asked me to move in and bought me a ton of wedding books. In Feb. he asked my parents to travel to our city to ask permission to marry me over an elaborate dinner. I decided to move in with him, but then just a week b/f I was going to I caved into my parent's pressure and decided to maintain my own residence. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. He viewed this as a sign that I was backing out of the deal. Even though he had yet to produce a ring. So we broke up a few times- he bought a great ring brought it to my apt. and I told him I was scared. He just pulled it out his pocket- no knee, no elaborate gesture. A few days later he broke up with me over text message (total shock- and so cruel). I have spent my summer confused and hurt. I have traveled and worked a lot- he has done the same. We went to a pre-marriage prep course, discussed wedding plans with the priest- but it seems he always has something come up (mainly work- he is a doctor/workaholic). I went over there a few days ago and just told him it was over. He was shocked- I trusted him and let him string me along for so long. I just can't believe this is over. We had a future planned together- maybe he is just telling me he wants all these things but deep down he doesn't mean it? I am only 26 and I spent the past year waiting for him to marry me. I don't know what to do. This doesn't make sense to you- but I just need to write it down. I can't tell too many people b/c I am so ashamed. Is he just lying? Did I do the right thing? I can't stand hurting him and right now I feel okay- but I did travel 500 miles to see my parents for four days (I live across the street from him). Do I go for no contact? How does that work? Please help if you can!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sat, 07-31-2004 - 10:53am
I am a total Charlotte myself. :) I am in love with the idea of being in love.

My boyfriend just broke up with me after two years. I have known all along that he is not ready. I know that I am the type of person that he wants to be with but he is not ready to settle down and be responsible. He says he may never be ready and that he will only end up hurting me.

I feel like I should have been the one breaking up with him. That was frustrating.

Anyway, you are doing the right thing. If it was meant to be, it will be.

As horrible as I feel, I know that it is the right thing to do.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 9:27am
Thank you for your message- it helps to get a response and some affirmation. I feel like total crap and I am afraid I will crack. Thank you so much. Good luck to you!