false hopes

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
false hopes
2
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 2:22pm

it turns out, a week of break was not enough for him...so he said it's better if we stop seeing each other for now, because he does not want to leave me pending... he just decided, didn't give me any reasons, and didn't give me a second chance. What he could say was that he has no other interest in any other girl and will not have, he misses me, and he still loves me, but can't be with me right now.

He said he reached a point in our relationship were he wants me too much, but can't control his feelings, and he's afraid of them because it's still early (8 months) and he's afraid he would be tied down too early...

Now what can I do of this? I miss him, I long for his voice and for his company. Apart from being still very attracted to him, my heart is still tied to him, and I'm afraid I won't learn to let him go.

sorry for the long post

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
In reply to: papavera
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 11:01pm
I'm in a nearly identical situation. Tomorrow marks three weeks since the breakup and two weeks since our last contact. Since I haven't gotten far along enough to see what this really means, I can only tell you to just let it pass for now. The false hope is going to kick in randomly, and it's going to continue to kick in (I still feel like I'm waiting for his phone call saying he misses me and wants me back) for awhile. No contact is absolutely the most painful part, but it's also the most necessary. If he is willing to work on things, he will let you know. It's unfortunate that the breakup has to be on his terms, but I guess the dumper in a relationship is the one who usually gets the upper hand. I wish you all the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: papavera
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 3:29am

If he's that afraid of his own feelings, then he's not ready to be in a long-term committed relationship.

What can you do? Not much. Accept it as best you can. Tell him 'while you disagree with the way he's handling the situation, you will honor it' and that means 'no contact' so you can heal.

Sorry you have to go through this.


Carrie