Feel like I need to be on the fast track
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Feel like I need to be on the fast track
| Tue, 01-09-2007 - 4:54pm |
Ok guys, I will be 50 this summer (ARGHHHHHH!!!) I need to get past this breakup el pronto so I can get back to the search for the right person. Now please don't lecture me about being desparate--I'm not. I just know that I have spent a great deal of my life alone and I don't want to be that way forever. I stayed away from relationships for about 4 years and really enjoyed being in one when I finally did it again. Since I have had doubts about the relationship for about a year before the breakup shouldn't that make recovery a bit faster? Also, I have not read Greg Behrendt's breakup book--would it help me at this point (2 months post-breakup)? I don't want to go out with someone who will make me miss the ex more.

Argh, I lost my long post in the posting process!!
In a nutshell, I understand wanting to hurry the process, being 48 myself. But unfortunately wanting it to accelerate doesn't mean it will!
There are two factors in your favor: you broke up with him, and you spent time thinking about whether he's right for you or not so you're further along the road towards accepting that he's not right for you (in your heart and bones as opposed to in your head). But on the flip side, you've had some contact so that could have the effect of lengthening the process. Have you blocked your ex from emailing you just in case, btw?
I have Greg's book and enjoyed it, but it skews pretty young--you might want to look at some excerpts on Amazon and see if his style appeals to you.
Sheri
Thanks for the info on the book. I will check it out a bit further before buying. Maybe I can find something more helpful. It's nice to know there is someone on the board around my age. Yes, I'm sure the contact has set me back some. I have not blocked him, but I know his email address changed and I do not know what it is. I think I was pretty clear with my last message to him, so hopefully he will stop contacting me.
The turning 50 thing is freaking me out a little, and is probably one of the reasons I stayed in the relationship longer than I should have. I wanted to so badly for it to work so I wouldn't be facing the dating scene again, not to mention facing the fact that I may have wasted my romantic life and will never find anyone. I don't think anyone wants to grow old alone. But I also know worrying and obsessing about it does no good, so I'm trying to be positive and work on myself right now. I just don't want to waste too much time, especially since I didn't date for so long before he came along.
Thanks for the input and encouragement.