feel like such a fool now
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feel like such a fool now
| Tue, 05-30-2006 - 9:01pm |
I feel like such a fool now. My ex has been keeping us in limbo for 2 months now and I was an idiot that believed him. I hung on long after I should have let go. We are now severing ties and he will pick up his stuff from my garage at some point when I am at work. I just feel so stupid for believing this would end differently somehow. That he would wake up one day & have some kind of great ephipany and realize that letting me go completly would be the biggest mistake of his life. I am loyal to a fault & that loyalty has got me heartbroken now. He says maybe someday, when I'm ready we can hang out as friends. How patronizing! Is he trying to relieve some of his guilt for being an utter &*()^&^ to me these past two months. He has been full of I love you, let's work this out, please come over, let's spend some "uninturrupted" time together and figfure this out etc. All just words - and yet I hung onto them because I was in such utter shock that something so perfect and wonderful could just be over.
I thought that if I gave him some space things would work themselves out - but that wasn't how things happened. As he said this morning in an e-mail "this relationship just isn't in the cards". Translation - he isn't into it anymore. I wish I had had some pride and walked away 2 months ago when this nonsense began. I just feel like such a failure now, and such a complete fool for hanging onto something that has been dying a slow and drawn out death that I ignored. He is gone forever now and I am just left wondering why he couldn't love me. I just don't understand it.
I thought that if I gave him some space things would work themselves out - but that wasn't how things happened. As he said this morning in an e-mail "this relationship just isn't in the cards". Translation - he isn't into it anymore. I wish I had had some pride and walked away 2 months ago when this nonsense began. I just feel like such a failure now, and such a complete fool for hanging onto something that has been dying a slow and drawn out death that I ignored. He is gone forever now and I am just left wondering why he couldn't love me. I just don't understand it.
Signatures On
| Wed, 05-31-2006 - 9:27am |
you're not a fool for wanting things to work out.
