Feel there is no hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2005
Feel there is no hope
4
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 11:05am

i just broke up with my boyfriend saturday. we started going out sept 29 2004. we were so close to 2 years. we were going to move in an apartment together aug 4 and we were so in love. then he told me he was going to go buy a 13,000 truck. and im like why would u do that when we are about to get an apt? he just kept saying he can afford it.so i kept trying to talk him outa it and he would just say that i just dont want him to be happy. and i kept saying no i dont want u to live pay check to pay check. but he just wouldnt listen. so i broke up with him. then that monday he comes over to my house saying i think we should just start seeing other people cuz were young and need to experiment. then get back with eachother when were ready... then outa no where he says i have to tell you something, you know that girl that has a crush on me at work well she locked her keys in the car last night so i drove her to my friends house and she was rubbing on me all night then kised me but i back up. then slept in the same room but not next to eachother. when he told me that it felt like my heart was ripped out, and he didnt tell me about the kiss right away i had to tear it outa him. and all my friends are saying he porbably did more then that with her. so i just started crying and said i told u you shoulda quit that job. and he was like i will if u want me to. and he didnt want to leave me anymore. then the next day he called me when i was in the car talkin to one of me guy friends about what happend so i told me ex on the phone i had to go and he said why i said because im with my friend Don, and he fliped out he said i dont have feelings for u anymore were not meant to be we need to break it off for good. then said when u have sex use a rubber then he tells me but i still wanna have sex you then i said WHAT u have no feelings for me but u have sex with me then he says im just kidding i do have feelings for you. and if you were to meet this guy which is 19 and so am i, he is so nice he would do anything for anyone. thats why i just couldnt believe what i was hearing. I have never seen that side of him before ever. so im thinking maybe he acted like that out of guilt cuz maybe he did have sex with that girl from work. but he called back after that 20 mins later saying can you come over there's some things i have to get off my chest. and i said ya then hung up. and my friend don was like you shouldnt have said that u need to let him no ur getting over him. so i call back and say can u tell me on the phone then he said dont worry about it and hung up. and that was it. but now im just thinking i wonder how long he has liked her, he claims he doesnt and wanted to get back with me. any advice.

thanks

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:23pm

Your ex sounds very immature! The bottom line is, it doesn't matter if he acted out of guilt, doesn't matter if he is interested in the girl from work and for how long. He told you he doesn't have feelings for you anymore. Run! And don't contact him or take his calls anymore. He has wasted enough of your precious time. You deserve someone better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:28pm
I agree! Run! What is going to happen if you are with him years down the road and he pulls this? Get out now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 1:43pm
You're probably going through an emotional rollercoaster right now. But let's see, from what you've told me I noticed a few main things that matter. He wanted to buy a truck around the time that he was supposed to be focusing on other expenses (the apartment.) Whether or not he could afford both I do not know. But the truck issue really isn't important to the whole situation, except that maybe that was his way of telling you that he wants to do what he wants in his life, especially when you broke up with him and he started saying that maybe you should start experimenting with other people (and then that you would get back together) He's bascially saying that he doesn't know what he wants or how much he really cares about you, but he wants to mess around with other girls and get you back whenever he's ready. Now how do you feel about that? I thought so. If he isn't satisfied with only you than he's not worth it. Trust me. And he's also a hypocrite because he became really jealous when you were talking to your guy friend. He's saying that he wants you BOTH to experiment when really he just wants it to be him. Its a control thing. If I were you I'd reevaluate your relationship with him, and listen to your friends. They are the ones who can see this situation more clearly than you and without emotion (that annoyign feeling) which can make us dummies. He may be "the nicest guy" but he isn't the nicest guy to you and you're not enough for him, he's not good enough for you. Realize that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2005
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 11:07pm
He calls me today telling me he wants another job, and asked if i would go with him so i said sure. only because i have missed him and still wanted to stay his friend. we go to some places and flirt like the whole time. i loved it. so we went to his house. and i just started kissing him then had sex but before we did he said will you regret this if we do and i said no. So we do it then i said tell me if you really did have sex with that girl from work and he kept saying no then i said please and kept bagging. then he says ok she had sex with me, then said let me tell you what happened she kissed me i backed up then she went in again so we made out then i went up to me friends bed then she follwed me and layed down with me and took her clothes off then mine and we had sex, but said he was crying the whole time and he didnt have an orgasim and said he felt so confused and didnt know what he was doing, and now that girl keeps texting him and calling him saying hse misses him. and he wants to quit his job to get away from her, he said when he looks at her he see's me and see's what he did and hates it. so i said im leaving and stated walking home and he said let me drive you home and i said no i dont wanna be with you. so he follows me all the way up to the park up his road, trying to talk to me, so i stoped and let him talk, he says why dont you understand i love you i didnt feel anything with her if i did that would be bad, ur all i think about an dwant, you pushed me away cuz u never trusted me u didnt treat me the way i shoulda been treated, then i said if i did all that why do u want me back and he says that what i dont get but i still love you so much and want to be with u. and i said well I HATE YOU, then walked away. he just said i love you and i said blah blah blah i had sex with the girl i work with then walked off. he drove away. so i call me best friend crying my eyes out. while i sit on a bench for about 5 mins then i stat walking home and i see him come back in his car so i stat walking faster and he gets outa the car and chaces me takes the phone outa my hand and hangs up. then says what dont u understand i love you so much, if i didnt care i wouldnt have come back. and i just was like wahtever, i couldnt think about what he was saying. so i say give me back my phone and he said no and ran to his car and took off. so i said ok then lept walking home, and he shows up again and says get in the car let me talk to u and i will give it back so i get in he says. you'll never understand how much i love you maybe with ur next bf u wont be so jealous and push his away. and i said dont make this my fault and he says its both. so i got out and that was it. but my heart hurts so bad i cant eat or sleep i told my mom everything even about us having sex. she didnt get mad she's just happy im not with him. any advise to get over this..