Feeling Guilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
Feeling Guilty
1
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 4:03pm
I just broke up with my fiancé; we had been together for five years. I was really unhappy in the relationship and didn't think a marriage between us would work out. We were together since I was 15 and I know more of what I want for the future and it wasn't him. I have been feeling very guilty ever since I ended it. He keeps telling me that he deserves another chance and that he would do anything to be happy. I haven't been able to explain all the reasons for my unhappiness to his contentment, but I have spent hours trying. Since we have broken up he has had periods of time were he has been very sweet like it used to be between us and I almost got back together with him. He keeps calling and emailing me. He says he wants me to help him so he never has to go through something this painful ever again. I know for my happiness and possibly my safety I can not get back together with him. I am really worried about him because he is so depressed and he gets drunk every night now. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can do for myself and for him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 4:10pm

::He keeps calling and emailing me.

Stop taking his calls and block is emails.

::He says he wants me to help him so he never has to go through something this painful ever again.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. You are not responsible for making him feel better and for getting him through his own emotions.

::I know for my happiness and possibly my safety I can not get back together with him.

If that is true, then you have to do what is right for you.

::I am really worried about him because he is so depressed and he gets drunk every night now.

Does his family know what he's doing and how he's taking it?

::Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can do for myself and for him?

For you, you can turn the G in guilt to a G for Gratitude and be thankful that you are smart enough to read writing on the wall and know that you made the right decision for you.

For him, you can contact his family. Encourage him to go to counseling....

Short-term counseling could help you with your feelings of guilt as well.


Carrie