Feeling miserable...again
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| Tue, 05-17-2005 - 11:49am |
I can't understand why I continue to feel miserable each and every day. It kills me to get up in the morning and go to bed at night. Everything I do, see, taste, smell, etc. reminds me of my ex. I can't stand it. I feel like I am going out of my mind.
It has been over three weeks since we talked last and I feel like crap about that. I feel like I should be calling him. What that will accomplish...I don't know? I just feel like he thinks I am a lousy person who gave up caring, because I am not calling. I know you could say that he isn't calling either. And no I do not think he is a lousy person. He is a great guy. It just didn't work for us. I think I have accepted that. I just don't want him to think that I stopped caring about him and what he is doing. This is the farthest thing from my mind. I think about him constantly. I want him to know that I still care for him. I know that no contact is the way to go. Everyone keeps saying that. It is just so hard. We shared so much(a house, a life, etc.) and now that is all gone.
Not only do I feel lousy because I haven't called him, I feel lousy because he hasn't called me. I keep thinking how could he stop caring? How can he move on? I know, I know, these are all crazy questions, questions that everyone asks themselves but it still hurts. I just can't keep my head straight.

i couldnt agree with popeyesgal anymore!!! beautifully said :) ... and so sadly true :(
you care, he cares... but unfortunately, its sometimes not enough ...
life works in a quirky way... and not even the greatest relationship, most promising potential, and the profoundest love in the world is enough to make two people's relationship WORK.
ive so sadly had to learn this...
i wish you a better day tomorrow... another 24 hrs would have passed... and although its yet another day without our ex, it is most importantly another day closer to normalcy and happiness...
(((HUGS)))
eeksj
Hi NuGirl,
Well it's now been 5 weeks for me and at least a week sinceI have talked to my Ex. I know exactly what you are going through. I find morning are the worse for me, even more than nights. At night I just think lets get this day over with.
When you said everything reminds you of him I am also with ya on that one.....it's like your going to go out of your mind. I am sure that your ex is going through his own thing, take comfort knowing that most men come to regret the break-up after. Men for whatever reason don't seem to have the pain that we women do. If they do the hide it well. Just remember HIDE is the word here. I also was the one to end the relationship and I want to call my Ex up and say Opps sorry I've changed my mind...but I can't for many reasons....I find it helps me a lot to remember all the reasons why I left. My advise and I know it doesn't help you right at this minute, but the day will come when you can pick up that phone and call him.
Hang in there, I know what it's like......but we will beat this thing !!!
Hugs to you, and I hope you find happiness tomorrow...
BB