feeling nothing......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
feeling nothing......
12
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 2:32pm
It's 6 days since the love of my life broke up wih me and I feel nothing. I mean I literally feel nothing..I can't cry, I can't get angry, I can't shout..scream..wail..I mean nothing. Is this normal?..I mean I still visualise him picking up the phone and telling me what a HUGE mistake he's made and that he still loves me...but I know it will never happen and I do still think about him..but more of in the way of Oh well it's his loss not mine....is this healthy after such a short time? I'm feeling confused as to where I'm at...does this mean that I didn't love him as much as I did..am i over it already? If it does, God I really don't know what love is all about..please help feeling very very confused.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 2:49pm
I know exactly how you feel. I have experienced the exact same thing this past week. My boyfriend broke up w/ me 2 weeks ago after 1 year together.It wasn't a bad break up, but we werent on the same page w/ our feelings and looking back I know he did me a favor b/c he wasn't giving all he had to offer to the relationship...I have wondered myself if I really loved him like I thought I did. I know I loved him,but did I love him enough to spend the rest of my life w him?..right now, I'm not sure. Initially I prayed for him to come back and tell me he made a mistake,but honestly if that happened right now. I wouldn't be totally happy! Isn't that crazy!!?..I can't offer any good advice as to why you feel this way b/c I don't understand myself, just wanted you to know your not alone!!..fiddlin'
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 2:58pm
It's so good to know I'm not alone in feeling like this. We were together around the same amount of time..14 months to be exact and I think this is where I'm getting my strength from..knowing that he wasn't giving 100% into the relationship. Like you I don't know whether I'd laugh or cry if he called, I even smile to myself at the thought of it happening although I'm not entirely sure why?? so i could knock him back?? I really don't know. All I know is Saturday i was breaking my heart and thinking that there was something so wrong with me and since then it's like I'm just not going to waste my time/energy on this. Just worried in case it's the calm before the storm and things go down hill....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:04pm
It is possible that you are still in shock and just haven't had the chance to process your feelings. Whether you were ready for the break up or not, it's still a hard, painful thing to deal with. All I can tell you is that when the emotions finally come, don't fight them - just go with whatever you are feeling. It will help you deal with everything and will help you to eventually heal and move on.

To feel nothing would be a bit of a blessing. I have the opposite problem. I have so many emotions swirling around I don't know what to do. I range from complete and utter despair to being somewhat ok to dazed & confused. I cry myself to sleep, while driving home at night, at work, in pizzarias, everywhere. I can't breathe, my heart is shatttered and I am in pain. I just hope that I don't look like the walking dead because I sure feel like that. And I can't get angry, I want to be angry, I just can't. Anger is an easy emotion to deal with. I can be angry and say he's a dirtbag and I am much better off without him but I just can't seem to get angry. So here I sit waiting for that anger...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:17pm
I wish in so many ways that I sill feel what you feel..although that may seem absurd. I mean on saturday I was there right where you are now. I had to call my parents over to help me through I cried and cried but right now there is nothing just nothing. I really feel for you but getting angry is not always the best way forward. You can't think that he was some jerk when all he was being was honest and my ex wasn't a jerk (except deserting me when I needed him most) but that's it. Perhaps I am in shock or perhaps I'm thinking about the whole situation to logically..who knows. I'm just sat here waiting for the backlash...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:23pm
I, too, think you're in shock. I went through the same thing. It goes in stages. You'll cycle back and forth bewteen all the emotions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:32pm
Then on the advice of all you great unknown..I shall prepare myself for the worst..christ it sounds like I'm going to be up against a firing squad!! I thank you.. I really do from the bottom of my heart. Heather x
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:44pm
You will get through it, though, no matter what. It's like a rollercoaster - you go up, then down, then back up again, but eventually you get off that ride and then get in line for a different one. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:54pm
I just didn't expect to feel like this... but understand what your saying. I feel as if I'm almost daring myself to feel nothing..like a game..christ that must sound so stupid. Like we used to go shopping together so i made myself go and do it alone (spent a stupid amount and don't know what I bought!) I visited our favourite place together...and so on it goes.. don't know if this is healthy or even the right thing to do..but like I said it's almost as if "something" is taking over...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:13pm
The problem was that he wasn't being honest or even coherent. See my post "He Broke Up With Me" to understand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:30pm
I think the more I get into this the more I become confused. Yes, of course your right..but I think right now I don't want to believe that..or even take it on board. Perhaps my defense mechanisms have kicked in..I don't know...I wish I did but truly and honestly I dont. I have tried to reason, rationlise and logically think about this, slotting things into some kind of order and then locking it away. I guess this is not healthy or the right thing to do. I feel for you..god I feel for us all...just wish there was some simple solution.

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