Feeling pathetic
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Feeling pathetic
| Thu, 04-13-2006 - 2:50pm |
I feel pathetic for feeling so desperate for my ex right now. I keep telling myself "this to shall pass". But that dosn't help me turn the loud desperate music off & get out from under my duvet & stop crying long enough to pull it together. I know he is going along with his life, he is at work now - and I'm sure I am the furthest thing from his mind. I would give anything for him to show up at the door right now. I know I am in denial about this being over & that still having contact with him by taking his calls is my own fault. But I miss him & I just wish he would love me enough to work things out.
Once this weekend os over and he still hasn't shown up then I will be forced out of the denial. I know that will make me deal with reality better. But today is not a good day.
Once this weekend os over and he still hasn't shown up then I will be forced out of the denial. I know that will make me deal with reality better. But today is not a good day.

Sorry to hear that...I know all too well that terrible feeling, like you are going to just jump out of your skin if something doesn't *happen* to change things right here and now.
Try refocusing your thoughts...it's not that he doesn't "love you enough", it's that he's just not *capable* of being in the relationship you want right now. He may never be...but he's definitely not right now.
But mostly you just have to let time pass, which sucks, because you want to DO something and there's nothing TO do. "The only way out is through". That becomes my mantra during breakups but it's oh so hard to accept.
And he may well show up this weekend...but what will have changed, even if he does? That's why it's so important to get clear on what YOU want.
Sheri